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Before you read on, I want to be clear about the topic:

I have a character who struggles deeply with sin nature, guilt, and temptation of suicide. So, this is a rather dark subject, and uncomfortable for me as well, who has struggled similarly. But I would appreciate second and third eyes on the subject to help me write ethically, not just intensely.

I want to start with the preface that I know suicide is sinful – it is mistrusting the power and sovereignty of God over our situation and His sufficient grace to carry us through our trials. Whether or not it is one of those “mortal sins” as labeled by the Catholic Church (i.e., unforgivable) – that is not my place to say. This story does take place in the 15th century of medieval Europe, so Catholic thoughts and theology predominate, and to a great extent I must balance my modern sensibilities with historical realities, while still prioritizing faithfulness to the Gospel above all things.

The character in question is a girl / young woman of a supernatural bent who, suffice it to say, has a monstrous past. She is something of a poster child for “sin nature” – a demonic presence (i.e., a Wormwood type) follows her wherever she goes, constantly tempting her towards evil, and up to the point which she enters the story, she has been readily following his advice: theft, fraud, promiscuity and adultery, and murder. However, even after grace enters her life, guilt haunts her continuously. At her point of repentance, and even times afterwards as she finds herself slipping back into sin, she finds herself seduced by the temptation of suicide, framing it in her mind as a “righteous” act – a worldly means of atoning for all the evil that she’s done by putting it to an end.

I know that she’s wrong. Suicide is not the answer, even for the most wicked of pasts. However, I need to answer that paradigm in a Godly manner which can challenge the worldly wisdom that suggests that such an evil person can only atone by ending their life or otherwise preventing themselves from ever harming another person again. One thought comes to mind – the image of a serial killer who tells the judge to lock him away because he knows if he ever goes free he will kill again. I’m straining to figure out a way in which she can be realistically redeemed, repenting fully of her past crimes / iniquities, and accepting the proper judgment for the evil that she has done. Wisdom tells me she can’t get off scot-free, and I know that the salvation of the Gospel transcends this mortal life, so that doesn’t necessarily protect her against temporal punishment – but I desperately want for her to have a happy ending.

So, yeah. Heavy stuff.

@anne_the_noob14, @deeprun, @daeus-lamb, @anybody.

@deeprun NO THIS IS NOT SPOILERS FOR MYRRHA. DON’T PANIC.