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@esther-sears

I just finished it. I am rather blown away. The ending was immensely powerful, and well-delivered. Sylas’s descent into maddening jealousy was satisfying, and didn’t feel contrived. I don’t see any blaringly obvious problem with Moira. Early on, it was a 50-50 percent chance that she would go either way, but as Sylas became increasingly jealous it was understandable how it pushed her even further towards Bjorn. Really quick, is the German in me correct in pronouncing Bjorn’s name ‘Byorn’? I have a character named Jaran, and it was more natural to me to pronounce it ‘Yaran’.

A thought occured to me halfway through the story– why would there be pirate ship(s) in a fishing village? If it’s because an inconspicuous fishing village is a good place for pirates to hang out before heading back out to sea, then maybe you could mention that in the parts between Sylas and Robbin. Mentioning it just once in the narration or dialogue would help flesh the culture/world out a bit.

Other than that, I noticed a couple grammer/sentence structure hiccups, but that’s pretty minor. Your story is compelling and tragic (in a satisfying way :P).