Activity

@morreafirebird, @princess-foo, @devastate-lasting

Yes! Trying once again!
Just blew out the first draft like a madman. I had the idea and the outline and inspiration. Gosh my butt hurts – I’ve been sitting or squatting to write since 6 this morning. Praise God above for this – I haven’t felt this inspired in months, if not years.

Only problem:

I’m sitting at about 8730 words. 😐

@karthmin, if you happen to have time to beta it, I’d a) be glad, and b) you might recognize the middle portion and very end from another story I was working on – this is that story, only reworked and the ending placed earlier.

And it could probably end still earlier.

I’m gonna put my written diarrhea in a google doc and if anyone here wants to read it I would be super grateful but not surprised if no one does (at this early stage) because it definitely requires some pruning and darling killing and probably tying in the themes more sharply and HOLY COW I GOTTA GET RID OF LIKE 4000 WORDS.

Content warning for all potential readers – there’s no profanity or “weird” stuff, though various sinful acts are mentioned circumspectly and I think with tact. However, there are several scenes of notable violence, and while I hope I’ve avoided needless gore – bad things happen. The main character is not a typical heroic protagonist; she definitely is on the anti side of anti-hero. The story is at times REALLY DARK, especially in terms of the MC’s POV – she’s a very troubled person, but she’s not truly evil. I don’t think the story celebrates evil, I think it highlights its pervasiveness and insidiousness, but I will need you guys’ help to make sure I did / do that correctly. Whether or not this story wins a contest or even gets submitted, this is part of the canon I’m working on for my novel and I want to do justice to our holy commission as Christian writers by making sure this story serves well in reflecting God’s glory and beauty far surpassing our broken world.

 

Also, to @Northerner, my treasured partner in critiquing my choice of historical packing materials ( 🙂 ), I have renovated the story that we previously engaged on, “Zauberin,” if you would like to look at it. New working title of “Goddess,” but I’m definitely looking for a better, more meaningful title which ties in thematically with the story.

I’m leaving the old story up so that I don’t lose your valuable comments. I’m sure you will find plenty more to critique.

I already know of the dissonance between the prevalence of German names in a Czech village – I shall have to search for good Czech equivalents which are intelligible to English-speaking eyes.

Sir Heino is still a jerk, but at your well-informed advice on chivalric common-sense I toned down his jerk level from pants-on-head-just-asking-to-get-smote-by-the-Lord to merely barbaric.

I also removed the attic in the church because of reasons known only between us.

Wax paper is gone too. Because why would peasants just have wax paper sitting on hand just to wrap up some meat given that most meats would be eaten fresh.

Let’s see, what else?

Oh, I removed the mirror / reverie part from the beginning. No more fears of sudden dream sequences!

Since the beginning now exists, Myrrha’s actual nature is a little better explained.

The name of Hannah is no longer besmirched without reason.

I think that sums up most of the changes.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LuR5fOwxubEXcU5Zwcbo3FLrArWOmLM9ljLQPsrpZfw/edit?usp=sharing

I need sleep.

Love all.