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  • Grace replied to the topic The stuff of dreams – a war in the forum Announcements 7 years, 5 months ago

    @noahlitle Looks good! I think we have much of the structure down, and I definitely think we should keep those elements of regret in there, and intensify them. They contributed a lot to the feeling.

    1. The definition of the prompt is a dream sequence, so we’ll want to either have him wake up or strongly hint about it being a dream. I think we can do it like @kate said, making the setting enchanting, vivid, yet also a bit too weird to be true. We can also have Ryan looking wistfully at the stage at the end segment, as if he can still see her there.
    2. We need to tie the hat, the word “lead”, the word “live”, the mention of God, and of course Emma into his character arc so that they are all interconnected and make sense together. I’m not quite sure about the hat at the moment — what do you all think? Are all these elements of the character arc relevant, or should we add/cut them?
    3. How do you want us to edit it? The immediate thing I want to do (like @kate and @germaine-han said) is to add details to the setting so it’s vivid and smooth out the transitions from one idea to the other. (I’m also chafing to combine sentences, but that’s because your style of short sentences and short paragraphs is exactly the opposite of mine, haha, so it’s just a preference.) Would you be fine if we used suggestion mode to try to add these things and see how you like it, or would you prefer that I comment and you write out the ideas yourself?

    Great start! Let’s do this.

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