Jeremy

Thank you! <3

Kimmi,

That is amazing and heart-wrenching.  Very evocative and poignant.  Great job!

Some pain can only be mitigated by being present and connected.

Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. [Romans 12:15 NLT]

That…yeah.

That was painfully beautiful ❤️💔❤️‍🩹

heheh…

@obrian-of-the-surface-world

Thank you for the tip!  That would work a lot better than what i currently wrote. I know Jake is technically waking up in a strange scenario, but it would probably be better if he didn’t struggle and waited to see what would happen.

Again, thank you for the fighting tips! They are certainly one of my many weak spots…[Read more]

oh I know it lol!! Professional procrastinating and constant redrafting.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a lot…? (nix almost cried, I did cry, a lot…😭😭😭)

Lol, I figured out that my MC’s scar symbolizes choice, and I learned the story behind that aaaaaaaand the story behind why he compulsively tells the truth in every situation even though he’s very very…[Read more]

So, if two guards have Jake between them, and at the beginning of the scene, Jake is unconscious, his body would be hanging slack between them, lower than their waistline.  Any striking to be done would be below the guard’s waistline with Jake’s body angled down to a slant to the floor.  A knee to the stomach would require one of the guards to rel…[Read more]

@obrian-of-the-surface-world

Thank you for the tip! I was thinking something was off with that scene! If one of the guards hit Jake in the stomach with his knee, would that work?

I just love how Story Embers has writers and authors of various age groups!

Hi @scoutfinch190

I noticed something here…

Think about the physical proximity of the two guards that would be on either side of him.  Punching their captive in the mouth would make more sense if he was upright and facing them, or pinned to the wall.  At best, a guard might give him a grazing blow down the side of his jaw, but that would b…[Read more]

(I’m gonna add this into part two) The reason the prisoners are working manually is because the dirt holds a flammable material that may ignite if they used heavy machinery.

@joy-caroline

(I remembered telling you about this so I wanted to tag you as well 😁)