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Fantasy Writers

Short, short story. ๐Ÿ™‚ Any suggestions??

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #110526
    Beth Darlene
    @beth20

      The cool wind whipped the light rain into my face. I stood there with my younger sister, my best friend and his brothers. It was dark and the Pacific Ocean stretched out in front of me. The giant waves were crashing together, the sound was deafening.

      It was cold but it was fun so I didnโ€™t push wanting to go inside. A little while earlier Ben and I had wanted to go to the beach but since it was dark my parents hadnโ€™t wanted us to go by ourselves So Benโ€™s older brother Jon volunteered to take us, Abbie and Sam wanting to come tooย  followed us.

      Abbie stood a little in front of us and Jon thinking it would be funny snuck up behind her and grabbed her waist, she screamed whipping around she realized it was him and burst out laughing. Joining in, we were soon all in hysterics.

      Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I love you guys!

      #110532
      Beth Darlene
      @beth20

        2000 subscriptions

        Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I love you guys!

        #110538
        PurpleTurtle
        @purpleturtle

          Very interesting. You don’t get to know the characters enough though.

          "It is not the strength of the body that counts but the strength of the spirit" ~ J.R.R. Tolkein

          #110711
          Beth Darlene
          @beth20

            @PurpleTurtle

            True! Though I was mostly just writing that for fun, and just to write lol! It was a writing prompt from a site called The Write Practise, that I did in 15 min. So there really wasn’t supposed to be any character development.ย  Unless there’s a way to have character development in such a short story (not being snarky I mean this haha.) I was more wanting advice on like my wording and even structure maybe lol.ย  The story is one of my memories, the people in the story are my friends!

            Thank you for taking the time to respond!

            -Beth

            Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I love you guys!

            #110745
            PurpleTurtle
            @purpleturtle

              @beth20
              Oh, ok! I think it was a good short story! The sentence structure was pretty good. ๐Ÿ‘

              "It is not the strength of the body that counts but the strength of the spirit" ~ J.R.R. Tolkein

              #110752
              Beth Darlene
              @beth20

                @PurpleTurtle

                Thanks!

                Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I love you guys!

                #110981
                Kristianne
                @kristianne-hassman

                  I like it! Nice description and I like the family/friend dynamics ๐Ÿ™‚

                  Courage, dear heart.

                  #110995
                  Beth Darlene
                  @beth20

                    @kristianne-hassman

                    Thank you! Yeah they are based on my real friends, good people!!

                    Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I love you guys!

                  Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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