Activity

@erynne,

GIRL.

I. LOVE. IT.

I MUST READ MORE

@obrian-of-the-surface-world

Wow. Remind me what app you use to record this!?!?

One thing I did notice was that the “its” in this sentence should be “her”

bride extending its fingers

You seem to enjoy descriptions (all of which are gorgeous, BTW!!!!!!!), but remember that descriptions can take out of a high-packed scene. Try to chop some of the longer sentences up into smaller bits to give the moments of action their heartbeat. 😉 Also, more character thought would be nice.

ALL IN ALL WONDERFUL JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so intrigued by the scene that I couldn’t even do something else with my hands while listening – I just had to stop and stare into space. XD WELL DONE!!!!!!