Activity

Here’s the next update on using information to create effective pacing and suspense. If you missed last lesson, it doesn’t matter too much but you can look at it here. Most times, you will write a scene and there will be dialogue. The temptation with have an antagonist vs protagonist scene is to have them both scream at each other their plans. They talk about what they will do and your hero feels dread and hopelessness…but your reader? They’re groaning because they can see the flaw thanks to that exclusive bit of information they got right at the start of the book.

And we don’t really want to be making your readers groan.

Groaning readers put the book back down and sigh because they just wasted a lot of time on a worthless story.

But, you can write dialogue effectively to convey just enough information. And guess what your task is? You get to write a short snippet either from your current WIP or something random that uses dialogue to reveal just enough information. Same deal with the 100-500 words. Keep it short and sweet.

Once again, I shall give a quick example.

“The moon will fall,” Tane said quietly, his gaze locked with my own, “Whether you believe it or not, it will fall.”

I swallowed, looking down at the crumpled piece of paper in my hand before whispering, “Why? Why would they do this to us?” my words choked in my throat and I shook my head, blinking back the tears that pricked hot behind my eyelids, “Can’t we do something?”

Whether I believed or not was no longer the question. It had changed long ago, back when Chani was killed. The new question was what I’d do about it. A hand grabbed onto my wrist and I raised my eyes to look at Tane again, his face grim.

“Listen to me carefully,” he began and I held my breath, clutching onto a small strand of hope that there would be some way of escaping before it was too late again. “Go to the Old Places. Find the system that they used. You’ll find the information there. You have a week.” He released my wrist, leaning back in his chair again as if nothing had happened. In a way, nothing had.

“What is that meant to mean?” I hissed, glancing about at the room full of people laughing and drinking. “Old Places? Information?”

He shrugged, reaching back to his mug, “It’s the only way you can save them. I’m too old to go off galavanting on rescue missions.” He waved a hand around the interior of the pub, “And I can’t see anyone here leaping forward at the opportunity either.”

I sucked in a breath. He was right. I had to save them, but why not just tell me outright? Unless…A chill settled in my stomach. “This doesn’t involve the…the Tayan does it?”

His eyes turned to steel and he slapped a hand over my mouth. “Idiot boy. Don’t say anything more of them,” his gaze darted about surreptitiously, “They have spies everywhere. You can’t just blather on about them.”

I pried his fingers from my face and leant forward, lowering my voice to a whisper, “But Tane, what’s the plan? There has to be more than just you relying off old relics this time, surely.” His gaze refused to meet my own. “Doesn’t it?”

One of his shoulders lifted into a half shrug and he stood. “Just get moving, there isn’t much time.” He turned and pushed his way through the mass of bodies, vanishing quickly into the crowd.

A sigh escaped my chest and rested my elbows on the tabletop, massaging my head with my fingertips. One week. That really wasn’t long to save the world.

 

With any luck, you weren’t certain of what was happening in there, and most of that uncertainty should have been given to you from the dialogue. The characters were not revealing all that they knew, and the taboo topic of the ‘Tayan’ will raise interest, despite the cliche. They never stated exactly what the problem was, and never fully outlined what had previously happened. Nor do you know exactly what the plan is.

So, your turn! Write a snippet with dialogue that doesn’t give too much away and raises intrigue.

Enjoy!

Also, if you have any questions about anything to do with suspense and pacing, feel free to ask. I’ll either give a brief answer, write an entire exercise on it, or both! So, feel free to ask any of your questions.

@julia @evelyn @rayne @silverclaw-bonnetfolly @ariella-newheart @rachelle @sarah-vdh @steward-of-the-pen @ejo-3 @consciousdreamer @joseph-kolapudi @metasua @adag @wysteriacampion