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@wingiby-iggiby

Wow, I LOVED that!!!!! The title was really, really eye-catching and interesting, and I’m already super endeared to Holly.  What an amazing character!  I love how she thinks–the Moon-man, and his Moon children, and the “good-looking sun boy.”  XD.

I don’t think I have any advice to give.  I think I saw a few places where commas were unneeded,  but, as I’m not completely sure about whether they or are not needed, and you were asking for different advice than that, I think I’m not going to point them out.  How embarrassing would it be to tell you they’re not needed, then find out that they are!  Lol XD

But seriously, I loved it! (I’m using the word “Love” a lot, aren’t I?) Will I get to read more? *Hint hint, nudge nudge, wink wink, cough cough* (From that, you may think I’m spasming out, but it’s really a plea to post more)

Question time!!
What did you mean by “a concept, perhaps, for an entire book”? Like just an idea for a plot, but you’re still writing it, so this isn’t like a first draft or something?

Second, is this what you’re working on, so The Point of Travores (So sorry if I got spelling wrong, please correct me if I did) is on hold?

Third, why did you say: “If you read all of that, I sincerely congratulate you and thank you”.   Think about it, Wingiby, remember when I posted (On the Flabbit Room) the part of my previous story with Evlarin and the Shadow Wolves-y things?  That was like twice as long as what you posted. (Then, I was still new to proper website manners so I had nooo idea how rude it was to post something that long) So don’t worry about the length!  (Secretly, I love long posts).  If you were angelic and kind enough to read that silly old post on the Flabbit Room, the least I can do is read your fantastic post!

Sorry I didn’t really have any advice to give… I just didn’t see anything wrong!