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Anne of Lothlorien replied to the topic It’s Me… Again đ in the forum Introduce Yourself 5 years, 10 months ago
I live in northern Indiana right now. To me… it’s rather a boring state to live in, but I think most people get bored of their own home states at some point, cause it’s so well known to us. It’s not new and exciting like looking through beautiful color photos of far off places in a travel brochure. đ
I can post more of my story. đ I only have the first seven or eight chapters actually written down, plus random scenes I’ve written out, but I’ll try to keep stuff from earlier sections so I don’t spoil too much in case it ever is finished. đ
…Here’s the very beginning…
…
“There are all sorts of feelings in this world; sadness, joy, guilt, contentment. They twist around peopleâs hearts, drape over their shoulders, or walk beside them holding their hand. Wherever they are, I can see them.
When my mom and dad were alive, they called it a God-gift. My foster parents donât understand. Most people donât, but Iâm okay with that. It feels special to know Iâm the only one who can see the whirlpool of feelings, even the hidden ones, dark and secret. When I walked around campus, I would open my heart eyes and stare at the churning sea of college-student emotions flooding out of their hearts and hovering around them.
I knew that if I could see myself, I would only have one feeling hovering around me.
Loneliness.
Itâs me to a âtâ; lonely Felicity, walking around with her head down and her shoulders forward, barricading herself from the odd looks, the jeers and the whispers.
I get them for a lot of reasons. Because I donât wear make-up. Because I failed a Chemistry exam. Because my jeans arenât tight-fitting, and my necklines arenât low. Because I read my Bible during lunch hour. I sit by myself in a corner while the words âidiotâ, and âJesus-freakâ float over and seep like poison into my heart.
There are people Iâve seen that bring out the best feelings in everyone, like happiness, or love. The only ones I see in other students when Iâm around are the worst ones. Anger. Superiority. Mockingness. Thatâs not even a real word. I made it up for all the people who like nothing more than cutting me down every day, until Iâm almost sure thereâs nothing of me left for them to cut.
But I was going to change that.
I knew when the bell rang at the last class of the last day of the semester. I knew when I swung my backpack strap over my shoulder and walked past a line of whispering girls. I knew when I stepped out of the Anslor College doors and squinted up into the brilliant summer sky that I wasnât going to come back.
I said a silent farewell to the looming brick building behind me, unlocked my ten-speed, and pedaled for home.”…
And here’s a part where she’s been taken in by a family and convinced to stay for a while…
…He led me down a narrow hallway lined with picture frames. Dimpled babies and frizzy haired children smiled at me from the walls. Once again, I noticed love, folded up and tucked into the corners of the frames. I glimpsed a cozy looking living room with large arm chairs and shelf after shelf of books through an open doorway to my left.
Clay stopped me and I saw I was in a kitchen, a homey, sun-warmed little room tastefully decorated in blues and yellows. A woman stood at the sink, her back to us. Brown hair with streaks of pale grey was swept up into an elegant twist, and gentle humming floated on the air.
I breathed in deeply⊠I could almost smell the happiness. It smelled like flowers and fresh air and a sweet, bread-like fragrance I couldnât place. I could certainly see the happiness at any rate. It stood next to Mrs. Dawson, swaying a bit to the music she hummed, and little scraps of it peeked out from every cupboard and shelf and hung in bits like pieces of material over the back of chairs and the oven handles.
âMother?â Clay said. I froze. What was she going to think of me? What in heavenâs name was I even doing? Why had I agreed to do this?
Clay nudged me forward, having seen my hesitation to go any farther. âMother, I ran into someone on the road who needed help. She doesnât have a place to stay tonight. Her name is Felicity Jones.â
Mrs. Dawson turned from the sink, wiping her hands on a faded dish towel. Her face was kind and gentle, but I braced myself for criticism as her eyes swept down, taking in my plaid vest, worn-out jeans, and scuffed up cowboy boots. She stepped forward and held out her slender, calloused hand. âIâm pleased to meet you, Felicity. My name is Ann Dawson.â
I took her hand, surprised by the strength of her grip. âIâm glad to meet you too, Mrs. Dawson.â I paused, scrambling for something to say. âMy middle name is Ann, too.â Random, but okay. At least it was something.
âWell, isnât that special.â Looking over my outfit one more time, she broke into a smile, saying, âI love your style, honey.â Grabbing my shoulder, she spun me around. My swinging braid whisked into Clayâs face. He sneezed. I was surprised she didnât seem to be taken aback at all.
âThank you.â I struck a fashion plate pose and slipped a little French lilt into my words. âI call it, âLe Goodwill Chicâ.â
Mrs. Dawson laughed and reached into a cabinet. She pulled down a china plate and set it on the table. âPlease, wonât you join us for dinner, mademoiselle? I believe Iâve already grown rather fond of you.â
Suddenly, I lost my nerve. Flustered, my words came out jumbled, like jigsaw pieces poured out of a box. âYou⊠for dinner? I-Iâm⊠hungry⊠no, but⊠I meanâŠâ I flushed and looked away. âI donât know what I mean.â
Mrs. Dawson smiled. âItâs all right. We really do want to have you.â
I nodded confusedly. Clay pulled out a chair from the table and waved a hand towards it. I sat and rested my elbows on the table. Mrs. Dawson spun from oven to sink to table, graceful and smooth, a ballerina in the kitchen, I thought, while Clay set to work emptying the sink of clean dishes. I observed the inquisitive glances he gave his mother, and the slight nod she gave in return.
âIn fact,â She set a glass of water in front of me and slid a plate beneath my arms. I drank in quick gulps, dehydrated from the bike ride. âIn fact, we would love to have you as a guest.â
My fingers tripped over each other, and water sloshed over the cup rim and down my vest. Clay, hardly pausing from his sorting of silverware, pulled a towel from the cabinet and tossed it to me. I blotted at my shirt, too embarrassed and confused to try talking again.
âI understand, Felicity, how hard it must be right now, and how confused youâd be that complete strangers would want to take you in,â Mrs. Dawson said, laying a gentle hand on my shoulder. Her kindness crept softly down her fingers and settled close to my heart. It was an odd feeling. âBut we really do want you here.â She paused, seeming to be waiting for something.
Clay looked over his shoulder. âWe do. Really.â
Everything they said couldnât process fast enough. Arguments and questions ran through my head like a marathon, so fast I couldnât register them all.
âWhy would they⊠you donât know⊠you donât have anywhereâŠâ
âTrust Me.â
Trust⊠trust that God, somehow, had a plan. Maybe⊠maybe these people were part of it?
âI⊠okay. I mean, thank you. Very much. I⊠If you have the room, thenâŠâ I took a deep breath, âyes, I would be happy to be your guest.â
âWonderful!â Mrs. Dawson pulled a cake pan from the oven and slid it onto the range. She slipped a knife around the edges, gripped the rim with a towel and turned it over onto a plate with a practiced hand. A golden edged cake slipped out, and a delicious smell drifted towards me.
âStrawberry shortcake.â My mind clicked the aroma into place suddenly. Clay turned around to stare at me.
âYes.â Mrs. Dawson smiled. âYou recognize it?â
âUh, yes, I â I do. My momâŠâ I blinked quickly, pressing down the sudden tears. âMy mom used to make it a lot.â Ten years and still I could barely say her name.
âHmm. Does she still?â
âIâŠâ It was too sharp and pointed this time, the pain. I couldnât speak. I glimpsed Clayâs foot as it scooted out and tapped his motherâs shoe. She glanced up and he shook his head.
âNo, youâre stronger than this.â
I took a deep breath, so deep I thought I would choke on all the air filling my lungs. Then I spoke quickly, rushing to get the words out, to just say them before something stopped me again.
âMy parents both died when I was eleven years old. My foster parents have never liked me, and they threw me out of the house two days ago because I dropped out of college. I have nowhere to go, and very little money, so I wonât be able to pay you.â
Might as well get all my cards on the table.
In the seconds of silence, I could hear a cuckoo clock burst into its call. Seven oâclock.
âOh, we wonât want money.â Mrs. Dawson worked the knife through the shortcake, tactfully skipping over almost everything Iâd said just now. Or maybe it just didnât faze her. âWeâd love for you to spend a few nights here. Maybe,â she gave a tiny glance at her son, âyou would like to join us for church on Sunday?â
Relief washed through me. âOh, I would. I havenât been⊠I havenât been in weeks,â I confessed.
Mrs. Dawson smiled and it went straight to my heart, reminding me of every smile my mother had ever given me. âWeâd be delighted for you to be our guest for services.â
âThank you.â
Clay drizzled juicy sauce over a slice of shortcake and plopped a spoonful of cream and a few strawberries on top before sliding the plate over to me. I stared down at it, confused.
âShortcake⊠before dinner?â
Clay winked. âItâs the fruit course.â
For the first time in days I let myself laugh.…
Sorry if that was way to super long! XD I wanted to give you some context. đ












