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Banana Peacock Warrior started the topic Decision Making…. UGH. in the forum Poetry Discussions 6 years, 8 months ago
Okay, so I need help. (In a lot of areas but let’s just focus here, shall we? 🤨)
I am SO EXCITED for this poetry contest coming up! But I was DEVASTATED when I saw that we’re only allowed to enter one poem. SO, I narrowed it down to my favorite 3 and I cannot possibly decide between them! I also chopped them up so that they fit into the word count necessary. I know that my style doesn’t seem to be quite the same as a lot of people on this site, so please just tell me which is your favorite if not critique. 🙂
(And calling on people I know… @emberynus-the-dragonslayer, @kayla-skywriter, @w-o-holmes, @k-a-grey, @anyoneImissed)
In the area of critiques I’m looking for how it flows, word choice, consistency, and whether what I’m saying makes sense. I know that my vocabulary choices are pretty dull most of the time and I’m more of a hardcore “say exactly what I mean” type poet, so I guess we’ll see what comes up.
Thank you in advance!
#1: True in Trial
Oh Lord my God, where are You?
Have You hidden Your face?
Can You not see the suffering, death,
And sadness in this place?Jesus, how so many shootings?
And why do people die?
Really, are You even there?
Do You hear me when I cry?Can’t You stop mass murders?
Aren’t You strong enough to save
All the sorry, innocent lives
That are taken every day?Is Satan’s grip on Earth
Stronger than Your mighty Hand?
Was Jesus Christ enough?
Will I ever understand?Where were You in the Holocaust?
Or when my loved one died?
Can You hear me now, Lord, or
Does sin make You a lie?NO, I say! I shout!
Sin does not make God exiled!
He’s a loving, caring Savior-
And made truest in our trials!Light doesn’t look as bright
‘Til it’s up against the black.
God can see me and He knows me;
And He hasn’t turned His back.When Satan came and knocked
And he offered Earth his sin,
God left the door alone-
It was us who let him in.But the clay can’t know its purpose
While it’s in the potter’s hand.
God can use our worst mistakes
To advance what He has planned.Satan has a grasp
On our world, our minds, our souls.
But our Lord IS watching us
And He’s still all-powerful.Even when the world was lost,
He sent down His Holy Son
To bring light into the darkness
And bring hope where there was none.Even when those loved have died,
God can rain His perfect peace
So another life can live!
All things work in harmony.Even when the trigger’s pulled,
And God’s child is called home,
He can use a man’s forgiveness
To wash clean a guilty soul.Now, who are we to say
That ‘cause we’re lost, so is He?
Who are we to say He’s blind…
When we, ourselves, can’t see?We cannot see the future.
We cannot see God’s plans.
We cannot see how God does
And we’ll never understand.But one thing we CAN see,
If we would look hard enough,
Is when we look at our world
We can look into God’s love.Seven billion examples
Of His love are all around.
All of them have disobeyed;
In them is where sin abounds.But instead of let us go,
God gave us another chance,
Let us have the gift of Jesus,
And offered recompense.All we need, now, is to take it.
That’s all we have to do.
Yes, there’s sin that’s all around,
But that’s why God SAVED YOU!Yes, I know that God is real.
I have known it for a while.
Satan’s presence makes God stronger-
He is truest in our trial.There’s sin and death on earth,
And I’ll leave it someday soon,
And, I’m sure I’ll be in Heaven then…
What about you?












