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@crazywriter,

Ok, let’s get this puppy finished up!

***

Abner wiped sweat off his brow, and examined the horizon. The detail had been riding for much of the day, and Abner suspected the fort to be somewhere nearby. Dusk approached, and darkness was settling over the land. The men strained their eyes to see anything so much as a light or torch, or to hear the sounds of battle. The dusty earth they rode on kicked up polluting trails, making breathing quite unpleasant. At long last, a man cried out that he saw it, and indeed there, a few miles away, was the fort of Ensteyr. *cue epic music* (Also, this paragraph seems to have a lot of the same sentence structure for most of it: [action], [comma], [“and”], [more action], if that makes sense. Maybe try mixing it up a tad, or reading it out loud to get some flow?)

The horse‘s (or “horses’ ” if it’s the hooves of more than one horse) hooves thundered toward the gate, lit by two large torches. Abner looked long and hard into the dark, wary of a night ambush, but to his relief, they reached the gate without incident. A knot of sentries were stationed at the gate there, and quickly came to a defensive formation.

“Who goes there?” Bbarked a harsh, gravelly voice.

Lieutenant North spoke up. “Reinforcements from the capital.”

The sentries’ leader narrowed his eyes. “A red sun rises.” He said.

“But the stars rule all.,” North replied. The distinctly Arhonian code word set the sentries at ease.

“How many do you bring?” Hhe asked.

“Fifty horsemen, with over 400 more on the way.,” Abner saidanswered, [insert action tag].

The leader nodded, then asked, “May I ask the name of your detail’s leader?”

North glanced at Abner, then said, “It is led by King Abner himself.”

The leader’s eyes widened, and he saluted Abner. Abner quickly returned it, and glanced again at the dark terrain surrounding them.

“Lieutenant, we should get inside as soon as possible. You shall report to the fort commander. I will see to it that the men are given food and lodging. I’ll head over to the commander’s office when I’m done.”

North nodded, and spurred his horse inside the wooden walls. The sentry leader pointed Abner to the stables where the men could hand off their horses to the stable boys. Abner led the detail there, and soon handed the charge of the men over to a captain. He gave Breanon to a stable boy, and stretched, happy to finally be out of the saddle. (Amen!! XD) He asked the captain where the commander’s office was, and soon was on his way up a enclosed stairwell to a room on top of the wall. Abner suspected that in daytime the office must have good visibility of the land around, giving the commander a good way to evaluate the enemy. (Smart.)

He came to a crude wooden door, and knocked three times. A low, monotone voice said, “Enter.”

Abner stepped in, to see North and a slim, uniformed man seated across from each other. Both stood in respect of the Kking, but Abner wasted no time.

“Commander, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you, sir.” (Ah, a polite king!! Something to be admired. *nodnod*)

“Commander Wise, sire.” The commander’s face was covered in scars, and marks of war. H, his eyes borebearing the grim determination of a soldier, and his trim uniform displayed his pride in his position.

“Well then, Commander Wise, I would appreciate a briefing. Major Maguire will be arriving with over 450 cavalry, and supplies in the next few days, but we must hold till then.”

Wise nodded, and took taking a long puff on a wooden pipe between his teeth, taking his time choosing as he chose what to say. “Quite frankly, your Majesty, we are hopeless. Even with reinforcements, its worse than we thought.” He looked at Abner, clenched his jaw, and shook his head. “We thought this to be a small band of near 1,000, and at first it was. But over the last few days, they’ve received more and more troops. We estimate a force of 6,000 now.” (sheesh XD)

Abner chewed on his lip. His fear of all-out war was coming true.

Wise continued. “For the first few days, they engaged, and assaulted the walls, and we were able to push them back. But after a while, they just encamped around us, and waited. They waited, and waited, and waited. The dastardly wretches cut off our food supply, and it’s a wonder our messenger was able to  reach the capital.” (Mm, starvation.)

Abner sighed, and leaned back in his chair. “Commander, this is disheartening news. (Seems like Abner is just stating the obvious here. Maybe get rid of the sentence?) But what do you suggest that we do about it.? We cannot send for more troops from the capital!, because they will be slow, and won’t They’ll never get here in time to help. We are outnumbered, and out-positioned. What say you?”

Wise looked at Abner, and the look of resignation and hopelessness chilled his soul. Ooh, great sentence there. “The choice is already made for us, sire. They have surrounded us. We must hit them head on; we can do nothing else. Our troops will charge into a crucible of fire and steel, and there shall be no sepulcher for them. No memory for the dead.” Wow. Hopeless. Great ending for this chapter and looking forward to your next one!!!