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@anne-of-lothlorien

Thanks! That was helpful.

I took some of your suggestions, half of others, and none of certain ones.

The word “Fight” holds a ring that I prefer due to its connotation.

To answer your first general observation, it’s a prequel.

To answer your second, yes. I use a lot of fragmented sentences. It’s a way of adding a certain chaos by applying my words in such a way as to make the visual feel fragmented. So to a large degree I want to keep that.

To answer your third general observation… I’ll mostly leave that as is. I tested a few different things and didn’t like them quite as much.

In reply to your fourth general observation: Yes… think about how quickly lightning moves. For one, the lightning has no been on the surface for a very long time, it only came up in reaction to him almost dying. He had suppressed it. The lighting itself is the showing of his power. When he suppressed his power, it’s not surging and thus the arc of lightning will not be seen.

And I see what you’re saying about the “now”s, but due to what I’m writing, I disagree as the author 🙂

About Static Touch…

Honestly it might be risky… But remember that I’m writing a superhero opera… I set the short story up under the presupposition that he did it successfully… though with the possibility that such a thing could be discussed in later stories. I can give you an explanation, but I don’t think it’s necessary.

And to your last question… Keldon is obviously one of the “stars” at his school (and not without merit). imagine if he was your best friend… and you learn that really that relationship was a coverup for something that might look like revenge, or just to take down a bad guy. Furthermore this guy’s job description means that you probably will never get to see your best friend again, under the circumstances of him being an Upholder. You realize that this person has a past life, that very well may suck him away.

Now these may not cross your mind right away, but they might. And if the villain can pull something that will make someone hesitate, he gets a sudden advantage. Does that make sense?