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@anne_the_noob14 This is a fun story! Everything about it reminds me of how I used to write when I was  9–11 (except my characters were all animals xD).

The main thing I think could be improved is the character descriptions. When you write out a longer paragraph describing all the physical attributes of a character, it slows the pace of the plot and the story loses some of its suspense. There was a good, detailed lesson about how to weave character descriptions in naturally a few months ago, so I won’t repeat everything that was said there. Here’s the link. Hopefully that helps you! I would definitely recommend that you dig back through our old guild lessons under the annual theme discussion if you have the chance. They’ve all helped me immensely.

Is this the end of what you’ve written, or do you have more? I’m curious as to how it turns out! Do they all go on an adventure to rescue someone, after this? I would have to read more in order to give you good feedback on the plot, but what I said above about character descriptions should help keep the pacing up so the plot doesn’t drag.

P.S. If you want to put your story in a Google Doc, all you have to do is go to docs.google.com and make sure you’re signed into your Google account. Then you should come to a page like this:

Just copy-paste the text of your story into a new document. I don’t think there’s any way to convert  a document, but copy-pasting has always worked fine for me. Sometimes you may have to adjust the font and whatnot. Then you can go to “share”, pick your sharing settings, and copy the link.

P.P.S. Just so you know, we’ve been asked not to use the whole-guild tagging lists; it’s against the forum guidelines. But feel free to tag me any time you need something, and I’ll try to answer! 😉