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So. It feels like I haven’t been here in forever. Literally, almost all summer, I did nothing on here.

I’ll blame that on working a full time job and not just a ton of video games and Discord chat rooms. *cough* Ahem. *cough* *choke*

Yeah. Okay. So I’m lazy. I don’t have internet very often, and when I do… well, I like my video games, okay? Can’t blame me for that. By the way, fellow anime lovers, have you seen the trailer for SAO S3 yet? I am soooooo excited for it’s release. And @devastate-lasting the trailer for Code Geass S3 was released as well, have you seen it? I was a little disappointed, but still! Season 3, after what, a decade? Yes!

Anyhow. To the point of this post.

I, apparently, have an issue. I have many issues, but this is the most pressing one. So I’ll run it by y’all.

The opening of my novel is killing me. Slowly. I’m pretty sure if I don’t find a solution soon, I’m going to become even more of an insomniac than I already am and die of exhaustion and stress. So help me out a little.

First off, I love my opening lines. Here they are:

The day will come when you will learn what you were born for. Whether you will rise to fame and fortune—or fall to utter darkness. It may not come until the day you die, or it may come when you are thirteen and break you.

But only one thing is for certain.

It will come.

Yeah. Is that awesome, or what?

But the problem is… I have to get that awesome narrative to switch over in focus to my MC, Kirin, pretty quickly. Otherwise my writing and pace is going to bog down and then I’ll have to fix that.

This is what I’ve come up with so far:

The day will come when you will learn what you were born for. Whether you will rise to fame and fortune—or fall to utter darkness. It may not come until the day you die, or it may come when you are thirteen and break you.

But only one thing is for certain.

It will come.

Sometimes it comes gently. Like a breeze in the summer, or a deep green pool in the forest.

Other times, it doesn’t. It seizes you at fifteen, and throws you roughly into the world of knives and blood, of warfare and violence. Some survive. Some do not.

Kirin was one of those who was given violence.

I haven’t gotten farther than that. Mostly because even as an INTJ(yes, stereotypes, I know), I’m terribly lazy most of the time. Plus, I’m much to critical of myself to tell if the switch is as bad as I think it is.

So. I want the opening to be a bit foreboding and dark, to match the feel of the entire trilogy. Because believe me, nothing gets better from here until the very end. Nothing.

Tell me your thoughts/opinions/comments/etc. I’m tagging my guild master @morreafirebird, because she’s awesome, and I’m also tagging @the-inkspiller because I know your writing tends to be darker as well and you can tell me some of your own opinions on the feel of my opening.

As for anyone else, spill your thoughts here. Let them trickle out and engulf the page, until your fingers drip black from ink and your heart is darker still…. okay, I’m stopping. That took an odd turn. (I’m still working on my dark voice in fiction, okay? Chill.)

But seriously, have fun. Critique, voice, whatever you like.

Au revior, mon amies. (And if I got that wrong, I blame Google Translate. They never do seem to get the plurals correct.)

Arrivederci.