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@wingiby-iggiby

Your profile picture is AMAZING! Did you draw it?

but now every time I listen I’m like, “will this song fit this character? Or that one?”

Ah, yes. Welcome to my world. I can’t listen to music like a normal person anymore XD But, I have gotten attached to songs I don’t even really like because they fit a character SO well.

And her reaction!!!! Liorah is actually really sweet!!! I can really see her struggle and understand it; it is very realistic and she is arguing just as I would, LOL

Aww, thank you so much! I was just kind of playing around with it, trying to find something that sounds right. And yes, she’s actually much sweeter than she lets anyone see. She definitely has a soft side, she just hides it well XD You do see it coming through in her reactions with Riure, a bit.

As for her backstory, when I read it, I didn’t think it was cheesy at all! I do have one question though: why does she have a wrong picture of her family? Was it because they all liked Gavril better, or that’s at least what she thought? It may be a bit of a cliche, but the way you pull it off with her relationship to Gavril helps a lot (and the fact that she later realizes she’s wrong)! I don’t know much about how to break cliches, but in the Resources tab on here, they have a whole cliche breaking article that even walks you through the steps!

Ooh, I never even thought about it being cliche! I’ll keep it in mind!

Okay, here’s Liorah’s psychological mess! It’s insanely hard to show her family relationships in the castle since I can only ‘show’ through flashbacks. It’s much clearer in the story 😉

Basically, her deepest lie she believes is that she should push people away, so she doesn’t get hurt when they eventually leave. I don’t think she’s even conscious that she believes this, it’s a pretty deep lie.

She also believes that Gavril is better than she is because he’s the crown prince, etc. and that everyone else sees it that way too. (Including their mother and uncle.) Because of that, she both idealizes and competes with him. She feels as though she’s constantly in his shadow, and she tries to get out of it by being sassy, over-confident and trying to shock people with her unprincessly manners. Basically, she believes even a reputation for rudeness and causing trouble is better than just being “Gavril’s sister”.

To be fair, people do notice Gavril more. He has a more important role and he’s a natural leader. He just attracts attention, naturally. Liorah doesn’t resent him, she just resents other people’s reactions.

Liorah’s sassy, unprincessly behavior, which she uses to get noticed, also has the nasty side effect of being embarrassing to the royal family as a whole, so Liorah’s mother tries to correct her, which Liorah sees as criticism and conformation that Gavril is better. Also, she’s so horribly stubborn and contrary that it has the exact opposite effect and she’s worse than ever. It’s a vicious cycle that just reaffirms Liorah’s poor opinion of people in general and her family in particular.

Gavril is blissfully unaware of the entire situation. He has his own worries and doesn’t pick up on Liorah’s insecurity because of her constant bravado. All he sees is that their mother tries to correct Liorah, and she gets stubborn and digs her heels in.

Okay, I hoped that made some semblance of sense. It was helpful to write it all out since it was a bit tangled in my mind.

Oh, and, uh, *shuffles feet awkwardly* what is a character ghost?

Don’t worry about not knowing it! It’s a really obscure writing term that refers to a specific event or series of events that caused a character’s internal lie. It might be traumatic, or just a series of events that shaped their false worldview. A quick example: A character whose arc is about learning generosity might have a lie like this: I can only be happy if I’m wealthy, and I can only be wealthy if I hoard my wealth. This character’s ghost might be a childhood full of poverty.

Liorah’s ghost is her father’s death, and her mother’s lack of support directly afterward. (This was actually much more extensive than I could fit in the flashback. Her mother didn’t mean to, but the civil struggle and having to help lead the tribe with no prior experience took a lot of time and energy and she didn’t realize that Liorah needed help.)

@jasmine

That’s so cool! I’m a fellow mysterious Benedict society fan and I also think is really cool how you caught that. I’m not good at finding those things in books even though I love it when someone else finds them for me. Lol,

XD I’m usually terrible at them too, though I LOVE when authors add inside jokes that only 1% of readers will ever get. Douglas Adams and “The meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42” comes to mind. That was honestly brilliant. Idk if y’all have ever heard of it?

Gavril

Tears stung my eyes but I blinked them back. I couldn’t afford to give in now. Later. Except there wouldn’t be a later.

“I’m staying,” Dancrow said, his voice clear and firm, then again, as if to himself, “I’m staying.”

Who had volunteered? I had barely registered anything after I decided to stay, between my own dim thoughts and Liorah’s stubborn refusal to go.

I’d heard Klein, I was sure of that. And Dancrow, just now. Who else? A feminine voice… Gwen, it had been Gwen. My heart twisted. Why did she have to stay? If I could have died twice, I would have. There had been something else. A laugh.

Riure.

I twisted around, keeping an arm around Liorah. She felt limp, as though she was about to faint. Liorah, of all people. Gwen was talking to Riure.

“You have to go, you can’t stay here. You have to go,”

(That wasn’t a literal quote, I’m changing it a tiny bit to fit how Gavril thinks the castle will kill them. He’s assuming that those who leave will be fine, while the others stay behind.)

So she had offered to stay, and I couldn’t let her, any more than I could let Liorah stay.

“Riure, please,” I was pleading and didn’t even care anymore. “Please go. You’re so brave but I don’t want you to die.”

“I’ll stay instead,” Liorah begged.

I shot her a look,

“No, we talked about this.”

She gave me a look full of hurt and indignation.

Why was she so desperate to stay? I was offering her the chance to live, and I didn’t grudge it. Nobody could accuse her of cowardice, and there would be no glory in staying behind. And even if there had been, it was tricky to enjoy glory when you were dead.