Activity

@daeus-lamb

Again, generally, I agree with @taylorclogston.

I do like the bit about the wizard better, but it still feels really long-winded. That whole paragraph is one sentence and I feel like it should be two, not that I know how I would break it up.

If I may be potentially offensive…

Based solely on your synopsis writing, it seems to me like you’re more excited about your story than your readers will be. This doesn’t necessarily mean you world isn’t exciting. It just means you don’t know how to show us how exciting your world is. Does that make sense? Is there a way to show us how exciting your world is without betraying your excitement?

I guess that may not be very helpful. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me. I see that kind of thing happen a lot.