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MyClipboardIsMyViolin replied to the topic The Party Tree in the forum Poets 2 months, 3 weeks ago
@jennythefaun Couldn’t tell the LoTR reference from reading it, and it would be fine anyway. I published a poem that was even more directly inspired by The Handmaid’s Tale a couple years back.
I really like the title, and great concept. My advice is to drop the rhymes. As one of my creative writing professors once said, the best poems don’t rhyme. I think poems should use rhyming sparingly and for effect, and this one uses it too often to the point that I found it obnoxious. The first stanza, in particular, is a standout for sea, flee, and tree right after the other.
The poem could also use a bit more character of the party tree preserver, but I think axing the rhymes will put you on the right path to bringing that person to life.
Thanks for your advice, @myclipboardismyviolin!