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@kb-writer SO SORRY I’ve neglected to respond!!!  Life is extremely busy right now, prepping for NITOC, last minute decisions, and right now building a new room in our house. So…yeah.  Life is crazy.  But, I’m so sorry anyways.  I should’ve let you know I couldn’t respond for a bit.

Okay,  so here are my thoughts.  I have some suggestions here that you can take or leave 😉

What one word has
the power to              Maybe right here, adding the “feel” to the line before.
feel broken in
tiny pieces. I          Love this line break!
can’t decide how
to put the
words together. So
I keep trying to
solve the problem. An        Maybe give the bolded words their own line.
endless stream of
fragments and
blunted hope, still
convoluted by
my tired brain. How
can I solve this
mystery? It
goes on and on, not
waiting for me to
catch my breath. I
don’t know where to
start, and I
don’t know when it
ends. I just
know that it will
have to end at                    “have to” is not necessary and sorta breaks the flow
some point. That will be
the moment my
heart will finally
snap. 

Please take these with a grain of salt.  These are just my preferences and thoughts.  Forgive me if I come across as too harsh!!  Just to note, I do love this poem a lot–it makes me laugh when I read it and is just wonderful 😀