Experimental Poems

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Katherine Baker 4 days, 1 hour ago.

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  • #82185

    Katherine Baker
    @kb-writer

    Hello!

    I had a poem I wrote somewhat experimentally, and wanted to get some feedback on it. Feel free to give me feedback, or post your own experimental poems.

    Here’s mine:

    Snap

    What one word has
    the power to
    feel broken in
    tiny pieces. I
    can’t decide how
    to put the
    words together. So
    I keep trying to
    solve the problem. An
    endless stream of
    fragments and
    blunted hope, still
    convoluted by
    my tired brain. How
    can I solve this
    mystery? It
    goes on and on, not
    waiting for me to
    catch my breath. I
    don’t know where to
    start, and I
    don’t know when it
    ends. I just
    know that it will
    have to end at
    some point. That will be
    the moment my
    heart will finally
    snap. 

    Always remember you're unique...
    ...Just like everyone else

    #82242

    Evelyn
    @evelyn

    @kb-writer Wow, I love it! So beautiful. (:

    #83165

    Libby
    @libby

    @kb-writer

    I’m literally trying to catch my breath right now!

    So here are some random thoughts.  I think this is cool idea and I love your thoughts 😀 This was entertaining and relatable and had a quick pace that I super liked.  The one thing I had a hard time with was following you through and understanding what you were saying.  Maybe this was just me, but some of the cuts in the middle of sentences seemed a little too abrupt.  Maybe that’s really what you want.  I don’t know.  These are just some things I struggled with when reading and they just left me breathless and mind boggled for a bit.  At other points, though, your breaks were amazing and really well done.  Is there anything in particular that you were wondering about?

    "Young people, you must pray, for your passions are strong and your wisdom is little."C.H.Spurgeon

    #83269

    Katherine Baker
    @kb-writer

    @libby

    Haha! I’m trying to decide if you catching your breath is a good thing, or a bad thing…

    That’s really helpful. Do you mind telling me which parts felt too abrupt, or what was the difference between the good ones and abrupt ones? I enjoyed writing this, and want to get an idea what a good rule of thumb would be if ever I write something similar. 🙂

    Always remember you're unique...
    ...Just like everyone else

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