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@eitan

Good job! You excellently ”prepare a way” for the surprising arrival of the actual Messiah

You portray characters very well.

Thanks!

It’s way more likely that the teacher will be an older, charismatic man, who enraptures young, hot blooded people like Ruben.

I have an idea of how I can fix that. Thanks! (:

Don’t use brackets in a story…

Will fix.

OIt’s kinda pointless to use them both…

Ooops. Sorry. Will fix. (:

You don’t need to quote the whole Exodus 15.

Thank you. That will definitely be a better thing than what I was doing.

Again, I think you shouldn’t include the first two chapters, and somehow include Chena’s backstory in the main plot. It will also require to fix this chapter, so it can serve as a first chapter.

Hmm. I will think on it. Mayhap when I read through it again I’ll be able to find a place for showing thoughs two chapters.

You decided to stick with an omniscient POV?

Oops. Actually I got rid of a lot of other people’s thoughts that we’re there… I will try to comb through even more.

Thank you for doing this!