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@eitan

I’m sorry you had to start over. 🙁

Okay, pre-prologue has disappeared. 🙂  The Roman scene it is.

I watched the video you linked, and might again. (:

Another, smaller problem I had with the pre-prologue is the POV. As a general advice – don’t use omniscient POV.

So, you likely don’t want me to do this in the prologue (: First chapter:

‘If she had been awake Chena would have heard a cry in the late night. She might have known it was her brothers, she might have not. Malachi had bolted out of the house when the smoke from the fire the Roman’s had lit got too thick. One of the officers had chased the youth but a minute before he was grabbed, and taken him away.’

Oh, I just read the article by Mr. Jenkins. (: I was mostly raised (and am being raised) on classics that use ‘Omniscient’ POV. In that, most were written 1950 or before (mostly 1800s). *Smiling dubiously* I will take your (and his) advice.

I’ll send you the next chapter when I’ve acted on all (or most) of your edits. 🙂

P.S. I know you mentioned the point of view before, I’m sorry it looked like I didn’t pay any attention to what you said…