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@the-fledgling-artist

Alrighty! I got myself a bit more free time, so let me try to help with your second poem. This is such a sweet poem…

So, when you have a more measured poem like this one, you need to decide on a pattern and stick with it. You have points where every line rhymes, and you have points when you alternate. You have sections where the rhyming word is in the middle of a line, and sections where it’s at the end. You have longs lines and short lines.

It’s hard to get into a flow of a poem when there isn’t a set pattern. The goal with Meter poems is to have a pattern, so the reader almost falls into a lull when reading it (the best kind of lull!)

The pattern is based on two things, the rhyming lines, and the meter.

The “Rhyming Lines” (for lack of a better term) deal with which lines rhyme with each other, and which ones don’t. Common patterns include:
1) X A X A (with X meaning they don’t rhyme)
2) A B A B
3)A A A B / C C C B
4) AAAA… BBB… (etc.)
To give examples of each:
1) There’s a dog / in my house / but he barks / like a mouse
2) When it’s cold / I can see / love unfold / all ’round me
3) It is grey / when the day / doesn’t play / with the sun // But I know, / from below, / I can show / it some fun.
4) Can I be / like the sea / so softly / kissing me? / I can’t see / but know we / are now free.

Those were fun examples to whip up. Hope they made sense.

Now, to apply that to your poem, I feel like the easiest to adapt would be 1 or 4. I’ll mess with a bit of it to show you what that could look like.

1) X A X A
Dear Heavenly Father,
… I just don’t know what to say.
I’ve been here a million times.
I really do want to obey –
I know it is lovely to you –
and I know your word says to pray!
But what could I ask?
To be made like you today?

2) AAAA

… I just don’t know what to say.
I want to obey, and I know your word says to pray!
I could ask you to make me more like you today,
but I know that’s already your way,
gently folding my heart like clay.
“May your plans come about”, I could say,
but you’re God. I already know you’ll have your way.

Anyway, those are just a couple of the ways you could fit one of those patterns with your poem.

After you have a pattern chosen, I would start thinking though meter. The easiest way to “accidentally” create good meter is to count your syllables (until I understood meter, this is what I did). Depending on what pattern you pick, your meter might change, but mostly try to stick with “matching” lines having a matching meter.
Example: ()= syllables
(12) I had a dream before I saw the moonlight die.
(10) I dreamt that I would climb it’s shining rays
(12) And on the back of shimmering light, I would fly
(10) And in ribbons of moonlight, I would stay.

It’s not perfect, but it gives you an idea of how I keep track of syllables. After that (if I wanted to be really fancy), I would find the more exact meter. In other words, where does the emphasis lie? Read the poem out loud and see what you emphasize. Here’s what I found in the above (Emphasis bold)
(12) I had a dream before I saw the moonlight die.
(10) I dreamt that I would climb it’s shining rays
(12) And on the back of shimmering light, I would fly
(10) And in ribbons of moonlight, I would stay.

Then, count the syllables between each emphasis. that gives you its meter:
(1 1 3 1 3 1 1 1) I had a dream before I saw the moonlight die.
(1 1 6 2 2) And on the back of shimmering light, I would fly
I put line 1 and 3 side-by-side so you can see what’s wrong with it. When I say it out loud, I don’t emphasize “shim” like I need to, but “light”. That throws off my meter.

So I would fix it:
(1 1 3 1 3 1 1 1) And on the shining moon-lit path, I would fly

Now it matches. So together, the poem goes like this:
I had a dream before I saw the moonlight die.
I dreamt that I would climb it’s shining rays
And on the shining moon-lit path, I would fly
And in ribbons of moonlight, I would stay.

Can you feel how that flows better when read out loud? Does it make sense what I did there?

It takes a bit of time to get used to, but it’s a good skill to learn. If meter is still too much, just work with syllables for now. An odd-sounding line can be critiqued until it flows well, even not understanding the meter (one of my favorite poems of mine was written before I understood meter. It was a product of syllable-counting and messing with the lines until I liked them).

One last thing, once you understand rules, be willing to break some. Sometimes the best poetry comes when you follow almost all the rules but play around with one. If you love the way something flows with a poem, but it doesn’t fit these rules, keep it (and ask for advice from other poets).

I hope this helps!