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@libby, @h-jones, @evelyn @k-a-grey

Wow! I haven’t gotten on here in way too long! Let me see if I can catch up.

Libby,

all the poems you have been posting are beautiful. I particularly “I Took a Walk Among the Forest Pine. The Rhyming was beautiful.

Heather,

I liked your poem! It was beautiful. Here are a few thoughts

an afternoon betwixt [outside?] {Maybe do “Within” instead?}the walls,
a fleeting taste of stolen flight;
the moon {Maybe do sun?} cascading through the falls
as i take silent through {Maybe “Waiting for” the night? Otherwise, change afternoon} the night.

the broken-down, decaying bricks
and ivies floating ’round like stars
can play on minds more mystic tricks
than liquids from the pubs or bars.

[do I even need that stanza? ^ maybe I should replace it with something different; it seems out of place] {I like it, at least}

o rain! i pray, fall down on me
and hide my tears among your drops,
e’er twinkling through the lowest tree,
please drip – and drip – and never stop.

i wonder if the kind of faith
it takes for you to fall so free
will save me from myself, a wraith
of everything i used to be.

Overall, this poem is beautiful. I don’t feel like you need to force a message, I think you touch on human experience by introducing guilt and sadness in a subtle but effective way, and I don’t think you need to be any more obvious.

Otherwise, just make the time of day clear. By muddling the examples I got confused, and it took my mind off how beautiful your piece was.

If I’m missing anything, hopefully, I will get back to it. 🙂