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Joelle Stone replied to the topic Character description critiques/game in the forum Characters 5 years, 1 month ago
Hey, thx for tagging me! This looks like fun… *hunts around in manuscript for a good description* *realizes all my descriptions are pretty bad* *decides critique would be nice*
Here’s the descriptions of Jistis and Jenis, two side characters from my first book. Jenis becomes a main character in the second.
Both were male, seeming to be no older than himself [the POV character, a late teenager]. The larger of the two shouldered a nearly empty pack. His left hand rested on the hilt of a sword on his left hip, and a sheathed dagger hung on his right. Unkempt brown hair dangled over his right eye in a way that obviously irritated him.
The loner pushed aside two leaves with his fingers to get a closer look at the other one. He appeared younger and more worn, at least a head shorter than his companion, and couldn’t be older than fifteen. A dusting of freckles adorned his squat nose, and his hazel-green eyes watched the ground pass by underneath his booted feet. He carried a small pack and a sack of something – sling pebbles most likely, judging from the sling dangling from his hand.












