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@anne-of-lothlorien

Have no worries, I assumed that. 😉

WINGFEATHER SAGA AND VIKING QUEST?!?!?!?!?!

*Gives you a crushing hug back* I think I’m… eight inches taller than you? Can I claim you as my personal hobbit?? VQ though… I read the second and third books first (resale store), then over the years I got the other three. I got the fifth for Christmas last year… I read it in one day and nearly cried in the last chapter. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!

Yes, it’s Settlers of Catan. The development card deck has knights. I have certain knights that I hate, some I tolerate, but the really blonde one is my favorite.

I’ve never done six square. Do you bounce the ball down or throw it up? Nine square you have a frame set up to hit the ball through. It was insanely fun.

Thank you, I couldn’t remember how it was spelled… which is the case every. single. time. I. spell. it.

I love ice skating… It’s so much fun… I just can’t do it yet without help.  I want to figure it out though, so I’m going to be determined about it at college and make sure that I do. YOU CAN SPIN??? That is super cool!! Dancing on ice would be really, really, really awesome.

I LOVE IT!!!! That is hilarious!!! I love prop rooms… I was in a skit for a conference earlier this year, and the day of they let us into the prop room to get all dressed up… I had so much fun with that. Acting in costume is so much fun… I know I’m too old to dress up and play, but I still do it. I love sewing costumes, and acting out scenes from my book in them. Or for family movies… We have one pic of me… a really, really weird photograph due to the oddity of my costume.

Oh my… That sounds creepy…

I get it though, that was my situation earlier this year. The story about the horror movie trailer. I saw hardly anything at all, and it was much less scary than LOTR, but it did the same exact thing. There were times that I had to turn on the light and just stare at the corners of the room. I couldn’t turn my back to the shadowy ends of the room. Some nights I couldn’t close my eyes, or like you said couldn’t move with fear. So, I don’t know if this is helpful at all to say I completely get what you’re saying, but just know, you’re not alone with that kind of thing, and I’m pretty much over my weird fear, so it probably won’t last forever. 🙂

So, here are some things that helped me:

(I’ll just go ahead and say, the trailer I saw about 15 seconds of that had me so scared was Annabelle Creation, and I only say this just in case you know a little about the movie because it will help put some things into context.)

So… I was afraid not of the dark but of what I imagined to be slinking around in the dark. I hardly saw anything in the trailer, I only knew what it was about and saw something green and Gollum-like slinking around a bedroom after dark. I was afraid of something like that, that it was slinking around in the dark and would reach out to hurt me (I had seen these horrible ugly hands reaching out to hurt a couple of girls in the trailer). I had to sleep with my back to the wall. The fear actually hadn’t begun until the night I returned from SMA and I remembered it after I turned off the light. We went up to Ohio for several weeks and I stayed in the basement. I slept on a couch and kept a little lamp beside my bed that I could easily turn on. After all of that as an intro, here’s the things I think helped me and I think could potentially help you. <3

1. Celtic harp music. Extremely helpful, it soothed me a lot. Maybe if you’re in the woods, playing harp music would be helpful if you can, or even just other music that puts you at peace.
2. Talking to people about it. I told a few of my family members and The Tolkien Friend, and asked them to pray about it. I think it helped for me to say out loud that I knew it wasn’t real, it was just very frightening when my imagination ran away with me. Saying that is wasn’t real to another person doesn’t fix it, but I think it put me on the right path. Plus prayer over it is always a good thing.
3. Time. It did take some time… I think just to forget and let the memories become dimmer is the best cure pretty much… Occasionally I can still get a little nervous, like if I see a doll sitting in the play room between the bathroom and my room after the lights have been turned out, that can make me walk a little quicker to my room, and it has been around five months since I saw that trailer. So, yes, I think I might have a slight sensitivity to things that remind me of that experience (which was a bad one, I was shaking and sobbing after I saw it) for at least a good while longer, but I’m not longer scared of the dark. Probably as time wears on, this may happen to you as well.
4. Praying about it and reading scripture. I have an artistic Bible, and I colored a verse that was comforting to me in the colors that reminded me of that fear in the dark. I’m not saying that this just will all go poof after reading one verse, but it was helpful. Actually, spending more time praying and reading the  Bible, not just for that but for other reasons was helpful.
5. So, this more applies to you than to me, but I had to be desensitized to the woods as well when I first started going out to swing (that’s where I do most of my outdoor night singing). I’m not in the thick of the woods when I swing there’s trees around me, and the house behind me, but looking out, I see a thick wood. It’s far enough away from the house to see moonlight blue and pale, but close enough that I get a little light from the back porch. It just took me time to get used to not being able to see too far ahead into the shadows and unable to see if something was coming up behind my back. Our dog barks everything off, so if she’s happy and taking a nap, then I know I’m probably safe, so that is something that may be different for me. Now, I would never go deep into the woods at night unless I had somebody with me, or I was well armed. I don’t even feel completely comfortable walking around in the deeper part of the walking trails on my grandma’s property without somebody during the day, but that’s just common sense because you never know when there’s an animal back there or even some creeper (I’ve found beer cans back there). So just know I’m not talking about going deep into the woods at night or even in the day for that matter alone considering that it may not be safe for one reason or another. I would not go so far at night that I couldn’t run back to safety quickly, but far enough that I can get moonlight and not be seen. There are some places I would  NOT go by myself on our property after dark because I never know if somebody or an animal would show up, or if I were hurt I couldn’t call for help or be found. There is discretion to be had, but I have no issues running around on our property after dark so long as I can still see the house. So, maybe just try going out to places like that, or even try sitting on the roof if you can and get used to being in the dark. Try it on a nice moonlit night and get far enough away from the house that you get the blue light, it can really be very bright. I think sometimes using lights at night makes everything look darker. Maybe finding its blue allure is what continues to drag me out of the house and into the night… I went out into it tonight. Lovely evening. Singing, dancing, pretending to be the elven princess. 😉
So, I don’t know if any of that long-winded rant was helpful or not, but I hope at least one thing on it is helpful. If none of it is, then just know that I totally get you, even just the dark feeling that you get. I think for me, that’s initially what made me react so badly the night I saw it, I just knew it was evil. I really do understand, I went through it as well. Actually, even though I’m pretty much over my ordeal, it is comforting to me to hear that other people who struggle with that sort of thing too. I’ll be praying for you, I hope that eventually it will go away and you can enjoy being outside at night or in the woods again. <3