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Do Teen Guys Cry? (help me out please)

Forums Fiction General Writing Discussions Do Teen Guys Cry? (help me out please)

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  • #61228
    EricaWordsmith
    @ericawordsmith

    So… I finished the rewriting of my book. It required late night work, soundtrack and a machete, but it is pretty much done (I have a few more scenes that have never been written before/rewriting a major battle scene, but that is all secondary story. The main one is finished). That has pretty much been this year’s bulk work.

    Well, towards the end of my book, I started realizing that my eighteen-year-old MC teared up a few times, but I wasn’t sure whether it was done well/made him into a wimp. It’s a high fantasy story, LOTR-style, very serious, whole nine yards. Basically the MC takes a seventeen-year-old girl against her will to help him defeat the ancient foe that is now beginning to shadow the lands again. They are mortal enemies at first (because the girl has no idea what the guy is doing), and he is very cold and unkind. As they journey on/get to know each other/face the shadow, the girl begins to understand and the guy becomes kinder. By the end, they are very good friends. It is not a romance, but they become very close.

    So, here’s where my question comes in. When would a tough eighteen-year-old guy with a sword cry? Especially for my last paragraph… The girl has been taken, and he with two other friends are racing to see if they can’t rescue her, but they have to make it to the southern bay first. One of the others is wounded, winter has just given its first snowfall, and it has been very hard to get there. They crest a hill and see the southern sea. The guy looks out over the sea, grasps the hilt of his sword, remembers everything that has passed during the book, and then he tears up but doesn’t actually cry. Is this me (a girl who cries a lot) writing a guy that isn’t realistic or would a guy actually tear up at this point?

    Any pointers from anyone who feels they have some knowledge in this area would be greatly appreciated.

    Tek an ohta! Tek an cala!

    #61230
    R.M. Archer
    @r-m-archer

    That sounds totally reasonable to me (the male characters in LotR cried multiple times and it in no way lessened their masculinity). But I’m not a guy, so I’m interested to see what the guys think.


    @noahlitle
    @josiah @daeus-lamb @samuel

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by R.M. Archer.

    Fantasy/dystopian/sci-fi author. Mythology nerd. ENFP. Singer.

    #61237
    Daeus Lamb
    @daeus-lamb

    @ericawordsmith Well, the question of if teen guys cry is really broad and the answer is yes, they do. (This is like the most commonly asked question on this forum, lol). Basically, most guys don’t cry regularly though a very few might. If you want to get more specific, personality type and upbringing will have a large effect. The situation you describe sounds very reasonable to me. It’s a situation in which I might cry. Then again, I very well might not. I’d have to go through it to know.

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    #61238
    EricaWordsmith
    @ericawordsmith

    @daeus-lamb,

    Ha ha, I’ve never seen the question come up but that doesn’t surprise me. I have a 15-year-old brother who I almost never see cry, but when he does… Well it means that something is really bad. Then my dad tears up all the time. Little kid movies, books, songs, all that kind of stuff. However, my MC is not my dad’s personality. He has more of an Aragorn/Faramir personality with the ability to get a little more angry than they do.

    I have another scene where I’m not sure if I turned him into a wimp, but here is a little bit here of the last scene. I’m going to change the names because I don’t want to reveal them yet.

    When they came to the crest of a high hill, they looked down and beyond the snow covered roofs and wisps of smoke rising into the cold morning air, there was the southern sea. Tears sprang to Nathan’s eyes, and he grasped the hilt of Talwyn’s sword. He wondered then, was his journey over, or was it really just begun. He lifted his face to the sky and a white gull soared above the world beneath its wings. Another winged creature came to Nathan’s mind, its scaly wings stretched gracefully over another sea up to the north. Then he remembered, just as Eria had said, it was only well begun. He turned and looked at Vallya and Will.

    “Here we are, and there’s the sea.” He said. “It won’t be long before we sail.”

    Eria is the girl MC, and Will is the one who is wounded. There’s a lot more in this paragraph that makes it meaningful beyond what you see here, it references a lot from past scenes, so it does carry more emotion than it might seem.

    Tek an ohta! Tek an cala!

    #61246
    Buddy J.
    @wordsmith

    @ericawordsmith

    *Wordsmith steps in*

    Teenage guys cry.

    *Wordsmith steps out*

    Published author, reader of many books, Student in writing, and Lumenite!

    #61273
    EricaWordsmith
    @ericawordsmith

    @wordsmith

    *Makes an attempt to drag @wordsmith back into the thread*

    Explain yourself and give some insight to why and how teen guys cry (please). When a girl cries (at least in the case that I have seen by dorming with girls who got into a cry party and being one myself) she is pretty much irrational. Like, stupid things make us cry. The last big cry I had, I just collapsed on the floor upstairs and wept (there were some very good reasons to cry that night, I’m not saying it was all stupid), I wanted to talk to my parents about it, I remembered that I had melted my mom’s shirt by ironing it the night before, and went downstairs and pretty much did this: “This is wrong, they did this, this happened, and they said that, and I melted your shirt (more tears).”

    I have a gut feeling that this is not how guys cry.

    Do y’all cry a lot? A little? What makes you cry and what do you want when you are crying? Like, when I cry, some people know the best thing they can do is just give me a hug and let me cry it out (and above all things do not say anything logical to try to help me fix it, wait until I’ve had at least three minutes to let the first wave of it blow over). I mean, what do you DO when you cry? Girls cry, then laugh, then cry, run to the vending machine for ice cream, then say something dismally sentimental, then cry some more.

    *Stands there arms crossed waiting for @wordsmith to reply*

    Tek an ohta! Tek an cala!

    #61286
    Buddy J.
    @wordsmith

    @ericawordsmith

    That is not how I cry… In fact… that is totally not how I cry. When I am crying you will probably not hear any cry-ish noises come from me… at least not vocally. Tears will be running, but I can usually talk. It happens either after a really intense conversation, when I’m perfectly alone… or during an emotionally charged conversation.

    That being said… I tend to be perfectly rational when crying. It’s not like I’m disconnected from my logical side and cry just to cry it out, but as a processing along with with rational side. If I’m about to say something that is about an emotionally charged topic I might start tearing up, and find it hard to speak at first. But my mind is still working through the issue, I’m still going to say it.

    Sometimes when someone has said something that is mean or poorly placed I will not cry at the time, but when I go to write them an email I will silently cry.

    And yes… I will sometimes happy-cry, though that is usually no more than a glistening wetness in the eyes.

    There… any questions? I’m mostly likely happy to answer them. This is an interesting topic.

    ( @scribbles there ya go!)

     

     

    Published author, reader of many books, Student in writing, and Lumenite!

    #61317
    EricaWordsmith
    @ericawordsmith

    @wordsmith

    Ok, that is actually really helpful. I am not at all like that. Once I start crying… slippery slope. I am the girl who can get to the point where I am all out bawling till I can hardly do anything. That can mean sobbing and shaking (very upset/slightly scared), sobbing and sounding like laughing I’m crying so hard,  can’t talk straight, can’t STOP crying, collapse and weep, etc.

    Do guys clam up or do they want to talk it out? How do they deal with tears (both in themselves and in others)? Especially if it is a situation where they can’t just forget about it, they have to keep on going. There’s one situation in my book that I am not sure what to do with it. It is a SUPER emotionally charged scene between my MCs. The girl is telling the guy to leave her after they have just been told another half of their story they didn’t know about to leave her (otherwise he will be killed), but he is torn between leaving because he doesn’t know what will happen to her or if he can save her. That one is sticky for me because it is the most upset he ever gets in the whole book, but I’m having a hard time figuring out how to make him respond like a guy. How does a guy respond to having no control over the current situation and slim odds of fixing it to the way he wants it to be fixed? Or when your world has just been turned upside down and you are wondering how to move forward? How can somebody reach out and help you best? When I cry I just want a shoulder to do it on, and if somebody is crying the first thing I do is hold their hand, give them a hug or rub their shoulder or something like that.

    Then I have to ask… I included this earlier, but does this sound realistic to you? This was my first shot at the rewritten ending, so I haven’t gone over this ten times.

    When they came to the crest of a high hill, they looked down and beyond the snow covered roofs and wisps of smoke rising into the cold morning air, there was the southern sea. Tears sprang to Nathan’s eyes, and he grasped the hilt of Talwyn’s sword. He wondered then, was his journey over, or was it really just begun. He lifted his face to the sky and a white gull soared above the world beneath its wings. Another winged creature came to Nathan’s mind, its scaly wings stretched gracefully over another sea up to the north. Then he remembered, just as Eria had said, it was only well begun. He turned and looked at Vallya and Will.

    “Here we are, and there’s the sea.” He said. “It won’t be long before we sail.”

    The names are not the real names, I changed them because some of them are my own creations that I don’t want to reveal yet.

    Does Nathan’s tearing up sound like a guy? At this point he doesn’t know whether he will be able to find Eria again or not, but the whole journey has been very hard for him from the very start (with the death of his best friend). It’s a mixture of the feeling of throwing the Ring into Mt. Doom and realizing that the hardest is still ahead of you, yet there’s still a moment of hope.

    Thanks for answering all the weird questions of a writer-girl.

     

    Tek an ohta! Tek an cala!

    #61341
    Daeus Lamb
    @daeus-lamb

    @ericawordsmith Sounds just fine.

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    #61342
    EricaWordsmith
    @ericawordsmith

    @daeus-lamb

    O.K. Great because I like it… And was hoping I wouldn’t have to get rid of that line. 😉

    Tek an ohta! Tek an cala!

    #61352
    Buddy J.
    @wordsmith

    @ericawordsmith

    About whether or not guys clam up… that’s a good question. I don’t. I’m more than happy (relative to the discussion and context😜)  to have conversation. Now… I really hope I don’t offend anyone… because I really don’t want to. So here goes:

    I think that many boys will not clam up just because they are crying. I think most boys will speak even when they are crying, unless there is anger involved in which case they might choose not to speak because of their anger at someone or something.

    Also! I really like how you did that. It’s totally realistic. *thumbs up*

    Published author, reader of many books, Student in writing, and Lumenite!

    #61359
    EricaWordsmith
    @ericawordsmith

    @wordsmith

    O.K. I’m guessing that might be more of a person to person thing then. Everything you’ve said today is super helpful. 🙂

    O.K. Wonderful, I really liked that paragraph (there’s a lot more wrapped up into it than it would appear, it was emotional for me to write it) so, I didn’t really want to tamper with it too much, and I wasn’t sure what other responses for Nathan to have (just saying, I hate calling that character Nathan, because his name is one I made up and is 100 times better [no offense to anyone named Nathan, I think that it’s a very nice name, I just hate calling my character that name…]).

    Tek an ohta! Tek an cala!

    #61374
    Rachel Rogers
    @scribbles

    This is such an interesting topic!

    Now, I’m not a guy, but I *think* (correct me, @wordsmith, if I’m wrong about this) that guys’ crying also tends to be triggered differently than girls’… From my observations, guys tend to cry because something touches them emotionally (joy, sadness, pain, whatever it may be). They may not cry about it right then, but they’re crying about that thing.

    For me, though, crying tends to be a response to emotional overload. I might cry immediately when something sad happens…or it might be two days later when I’m tired, and I forgot to switch the laundry, and then the dog knocked over my favorite flowerpot. I’m not crying about the fact that the dog just broke half the stems on my flowers, per se…rather, I’m crying because that frustration was what tipped the scales. However, the deeply emotional thing is, of course, the main reason for my tears.

    I think that’s the reason why sometimes people think girls cry about irrational things, too. As a generalization, we’re often not crying about what it might seem like we’re crying about. And with guys, I think the tears tend to match up with the circumstances a little more. 😛

    Ambiverted INFP. Scribbles all the words. Names the plant friends. Secretly Edna the Piguirrel.

    #61414
    Noah Litle
    @noahlitle

    This discussion reminds me a bit of that part in Gods and Generals (the movie) when Jackson breaks down in tears. Two other soldiers are watching him and one says to the other, (and I paraphrase) “all these other bad things happen, and he didn’t cry. But now he’s crying because of this thing?” To which the other soldier replies, “No. He’s crying for all of them.”

    That’s all I have to add.

    I could contradict @wordsmith and say that I would rather be alone when I cry, but I would rather be alone most of the time anyway, so…

    It’s a very subjective thing.

    And I’m not a teenager any more, so you can take that with a grain of salt. Maybe. 🙂

    p.s. I only know a little.

    #61447
    Thomas (CrØss_Bl₳de)
    @thewirelessblade

    Let me summarize all this into one word: Yes.

    *Forum Signature here*

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