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Hey Parimis!

Okay, so, I’m working on show don’t tell at the moment. I have written a very short example of my writing and wondered if any of you could have a look at it and show me where I can change any telling to showing? If some of you could have a quick read and show me where I’m telling too much and how I can fix it, that’d be great!

@j-a-penrose

@steward-of-the-pen

@julia

@evelyn

@cassie-hartfinh

@ariella-newheart

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GCj_YC3cicVgNgRcAUEEjDy3j6qEq77Q6TAdlVQsthI/edit