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@missfaeriekaiti Nice work! I really enjoyed reading this excerpt and definitely want to read more. 😀

The descriptions you have of the place where this scene unfolds is great! Just some thoughts to think about – Is is a small or big room (I am going to guess small because of how the action played out?), did the dog/werewolf fight break anything in the house? When the Erica and the wolf knocked over the food and logs, did the fire start spreading?

Something I would suggest is maybe adding more smell and feel descriptors. I can see the setting but I am not experiencing the setting. I did notice that you had sounds in the scene which was great! What does Saria smell when the intruders storm in? Is the wind howling as it whips into the house? What does the lady’s hand feel like when Saria touches it? It the floor rough when Saria falls on it? What is Saria’s cloak made of – does it have a comforting smell when she huddles into it?

Also, I really liked Saria’s character; I want to know what happens to her now that someone else knows her gift. You have more written right?! *gives you the puppy eyes*

Thanks for sharing!