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@ericawordsmith (I think you started this, correct?) @wordsmith, Cause you might be interested in reading this @noahlittle Cause you were one of the last ones on here that I remember

All right, so this may be one of the longest threads posts I have ever made and I hope you take the time and have the patience to read all my ramblings because this subject, (guys crying) is something that has… well, the best way I could describe it is interested me, for several years. No, that doesn’t sound right. Well, whatever.

I am going to cover some general different aspects of crying and emotion and guys versus girls and my personal experience and I mean, this could end up being really, really long, so bear with me please.

POINT THING ONE – Teenage guys cry. I know this has already been established, but yes, they cry. But in almost one hundred percent of my experience, they definitely cry for very different reasons as girls.

My older brother is eighteen and whenever I have seen him cry, it’s for two reason. 1. A movie, but he doesn’t do this often. It’s not just sad things in movies that make him cry. He can watch Boromir’s death without even tearing up. It’s emotionally upheaving and unsettling and heavy things that I have seen set him off. For example, The Boy With the Striped Pajamas. If you’ve ever seen that, I’m gonna guess you cried unless crying at any movie whatsoever is just not something you do. But I don’t get that. Anyways, I digress, which I will probably be doing a lot of. But, he cried because the overall overload of the death and evil that took place in that movie, (still a good movie, I just don’t like it cause it makes me cry) was overwhelming.

Reason 2. A bunch of emotional and even spiritual stress and problems that have been piling up for weeks or even months finally overloads. This is even rarer, but it still happens. He doesn’t cry at the drop of a pin or hat or a stupid thing like girls do. Well, most girls do, I’m sure. Anyways, I do.

Now, this doesn’t mean that he never cries at things that aren’t heart-shattering. He cried when Bing-Bong the imaginary friend from Inside Out died. (But I mean, come on, who didn’t?) But that’s a rare occasion.

POINT THING TWO – We cannot assign a general term, ‘teenage guys’ and ask if they cry or not, because you just can’t put everyone in a box like that, even if they are the same gender and age. I mean, I have never seen my younger brother, aged 13, cry since he was a very little kid. Then other guys I have seen get emotional over good sermons and good books and rough situations. Everyone is different and will respond to different situations and emotional triggers differently.

POINT THING THREE – (And @wordsmith, if you’re reading this can you comment because this is not something I know, obviously, not being a guy) I think that most guys in my life handle the actual act of crying different than girls. When they are crying, first, I’ve never seen a guy cry like I do sometimes, shaking and sobbing. Somehow all the crying I’ve seen in guys is a quieter thing. Maybe this is something that God has just made different so the man can still be the stronger supporter. I don’t know. Second, I don’t think, (THINK I STRESS, NOT KNOW) that guys are as embarrassed when they are actually crying in public as opposed to girls. Example – And this is tough for me to write so please bear with me. Last month our pastor’s brother was shot in Cameroon. He was going to be a missionary there with his wife and eight children. The Sunday after he was shot we were in church listening to things being said about him and his life and I looked around at different people. All the girls I saw who were crying were furtively wiping it away and trying to stop the tears. All the guys I saw who were crying were just sitting there crying. Just letting the tears fall down their cheeks and not trying to hide it. @wordsmith @noahlittle Is it just not that much of a bother to you if people see you cry?

Now, this was in a very sorrowful setting, not just I cut my hand and the house is chaos, but as in my brother was just shot in another country. Maybe this also has different things to do with it.

Now I’m just going off on some different things I want to bring up.

FIRST – I absolutely hate when anyone says that as the stronger sex guys shouldn’t cry. ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO! Okay, I know you all share that same opinion, I just get really worked up about this. Today, in our age, the idea that guys shouldn’t cry has led to suicides and that just makes me so mad. Guys think that because they do cry, then they’re not worth much as a guy, that they’re sissies or babies and emotional wrecks and don’t deserve the life they were given and that is so sad. JESUS CRIED FOR HEAVENS SAKE AND HE WAS THE PERFECT EPITOME OF MANHOOD!!!

Tears are not a sign of weakness, they are a sign of feeling. A sign that you care about things, that you’re not just an emotionless being. Pressing down that feeling is not good, which is why I am in total favor of guys crying.

SECOND – I’m not even going to get into the thought process discussion, cause that’s just way too much for right now, but obviously since our minds are very different, guys versus girls I mean, we’re mostly going to be triggered by different things. And then there’s odd people in both categories.

The things that make me cry are I think different that most people. And a thing… I cry over the stupidest, lamest things, and then can’t cry when real actual tragedies comes. It’s hard, and I beat myself up because I feel like someone who doesn’t care, but I just don’t cry. I cry at any slightly sad thing in a movie or book, but when my sister was born with Down Syndrome and my mom almost died, I didn’t shed tears. I don’t know why I do this. There could be an emotional or psychological reason, but I don’t know.

But the things that make me cry are rather odd. Mostly it’s either

– Any sad thing in a work of fiction, movie, etc. such as a death of any character or a sad parting

– Highly intense pain. I don’t care about small pain, such as cuts, but when something is very, very bad, I start laughing and crying at the same time and I pretty much go hysterical and can’t move.

– Seeing other people cry, especially guys. Other people’s grief triggers my own, and even though I hold that there is nothing wrong with guys crying, at all, it’s still sadder to me to see them crying because it just doesn’t happen as often

– (This one is a little unique maybe, but nonetheless…) When I receive unwanted ‘attention’ and comments from guys in public. I’ve mentioned this before, I think (maybe @ericawordsmith or @wordsmith were part of that conversation) This is really specific, but being treated like an object, like something that has no worth outside your face or body really makes me feel almost worthless. I know it’s not the truth, but being treated like this, even by strangers, makes me feel very sad, like I have no worth as a girl, just as a pretty thing. Unfortunately, I get these comments more than most girls I know, for whatever reason, and this is one of my hardest things to not cry at.

These things are just my own things obviously, and everyone is different. Plus, at the risk of being too… awkward, we all know that there’s certain times where girls are ultra and often unreasonably emotional, and guys don’t get that, so overall, girls are just generally more emotional. I think one of the reasons is that we take things too much too heart, or if not too much, just more than guys do. Guys, tell me if I’m wrong. And I’m not talking about important things like love and friends and church, but trivial things like our favorite book or clothes or hair or stupid stupid things. And that’s just how it is.

Okay, normal conversations things…

@wordsmith – Buddy??? That’s a nice name, but just not what I’d imagined. I’d always called you Wesley in my mind. I mean, I give people names when I don’t know their real names, and that was yours.

Just something I want to try – @ericawordsmith @wordsmith – What are names you would guess would be my real one from what you know of me? I’ll tell you my real name after you guess, but I want to see what people would think is my name…