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@emily-waldorf

Yours.

Ohohoho, this is going to be cool!!

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I was internally screaming but that was barely unusual.

Don’t let them see you don’t move don’t breathe, preferably don’t exist. If they saw me I was going to be in trouble, I shouldn’t be here and I had no valid excuse for why I was.

If I told them they would think I was lying and I was going to antagonize them even further and if I in any way ended up in a fight I was going to die.

I was vastly outnumbered, the terrain wasn’t great, and besides that, my only working hand was not my dominant one and I only had a knife.

I was going to die in so many different ways, all of them terrible.

My knees were still trembling so I stayed leaning against the wall and hoped I would vanish into thin air. I had wished that more times than I could remember. Sometimes I wished I would vanish permanently, just so it could all be over.

The man was still glowing and I was seriously wondering whether this was a dream. If not, he was probably a double threat. If so, then this was going to get much worse very fast.

“Who’s there?”

It was the glowing man. This was getting worse fast.

I stiffened and the trembling got worse. If only it would stop, I didn’t need a constant reminder that I was beyond terrified, and I certainly didn’t need anyone else to find out.

Was I supposed to answer? If I didn’t, perhaps they wouldn’t notice me. But maybe they’d already seen me and then it would just antagonize them and–

But if I answered maybe someone would recognize me and then this would be far worse– It was already bad enough.

I shrugged, resigning myself to the fact that I was going to die. Overdue anyway.

I took a step forward, out of the narrow hallway and into the light. I remembered the light from my dream, how I’d reflexively dodged away from it, but how scared I’d been in the all-consuming darkness. There were no good options. The light didn’t want me and I didn’t want the darkness.

“I am,” I replied to the earlier question, then automatically cleared my throat. My voice seemed to have changed after the accident, it sounded permanently slightly hoarse. Probably because of the smoke.

“And you are?” The larger kneeling man asked, sarcastically.

“On my way out of here. Does someone know where ‘out’ is?” I asked, carefully keeping my voice friendly but distant.

“Wish we knew, we’ve all tried, I don’t think there is an exit,” the glowing man said, apologetically.

He sounded friendly, which set me on edge. He was trying to set me at ease and I made a point of not doing what other people wanted of me. It was the only way to stay alive.

I let the news sink in. Trapped. No way out. Nowhere to go. Trapped with people who either hated me or soon would. This was bad, this was terrible, there had to be some way to get out, some way to make this stop. Soon I’d wake up and it’d be gone. Wouldn’t it?

I felt the panic rising again, my thoughts spiraling, focusing on how helpless I was, and everything that would go wrong. I would never get used to being helpless, nothing frightened me more.

I raked my hand through my hair, pushing it away from my face, then realized that it meant the others would get a good look at me and I couldn’t emphasize enough how much I didn’t want that.

It was too late, but I ducked my head in an almost reflexive action to stay hidden.

“That’s too bad,” I commented, satisfied that my voice didn’t sound concerned. I was, but I couldn’t let them find out.

I felt another coughing fit coming on and I tried to stifle it. It was possibly a result of the tension but whatever it was, it wasn’t welcome. It made me feel even more helpless besides drawing attention. I hated drawing attention.

As soon as it was over I noticed the glowing man taking half a step backward, possibly without noticing.

I smiled, though it lacked any real happiness. It had for a long time.

“Don’t worry, bad decisions aren’t contaigous.”

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@emily-waldorf @calidris

As usual, change anything!