-
sparrowhawke replied to the topic Audio Cinema in the forum Fantasy Writers 4 years, 9 months ago
Yeah, I myself don’t really know what the Rissians did or what exactly Resolve is. I really just wrote this on the spur of the moment after getting the word “Resolve” in my head. And so I got this sarcastic main character and really interesting first person present tense. Usually that drives me nuts, but I think it’s working here.
Yes, Malar is overdramatic and whiny. In his defense, those things he said at the end were meant to convince Crin and he kind of hates himself for saying them and being so cheesy. But yeah. Malar’s quite a brat.
Thank you for the critique/feedback Cathy! You have a big heart if you felt empathetic toward Malar just based on this scene. I mean, I feel bad for him being the author and knowing some things (like I said before, this idea needs a LOT of work and brainstorming–I myself have a ton of questions), but if I just read this scene, I’d think he was entertainingly sarcastic but Idk if I’d pity him. He has been rather traumatized, yes
This, along with a few scattered notes and ideas in my head, is the extent of my knowledge of this story:
I’m really discovering this one. It’s actually quite interesting at the moment, not knowing so much about your own story.
Article Categories
Sparrow,
This is very good, though. Each scene should leave a reader with enough questions to entice them to read on for the answers in prior or following scenes.
Even your excerpt does that, and it begs to be a larger story, and that is exactly what needs to happen.
While isolating a single scene like we both did on Audio Cinema may seem a bit odd, it does show the isolated value of the instrument in itself, and when added to, it becomes part of the larger orchestra. People need to see the value in their components as chainlinks. Your link is very promising and already very strong and worthy of becoming part of “the chain” of story. Make sense?
Perhaps a better comparison is a brick in a wall, rather than a chain link. Bricks built upon each other bear a larger weight, so some scenes may have to do more heavy-lifting than others. One weak scene does not entirely weaken the wall, especially if the structure above it does not rely on it to be load-bearing.
My story bricks have many flaws, but those that need to bear the pivot weight of the plot need to be the strongest.
Some inciting event, showing the Rissian treachery might be one of these more load-bearing bricks that would lend a backstory into Malar’s present frustration, but you can see how it would lend its strength to the present scene you so graciously shared. Thank you for being the first! I hope you share more. Can even be anything not related to this particular story. Just pick a scene.
Pulling this out of my files has definitely made me want to get back to it! The writing came (comparatively) easily to me. I love Malar’s voice and it is shaping up to be the kind of story I want to read.