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@wingiby-iggiby

I really enjoyed it! And no apologizing for length. When you enjoy something, length is meaningless. For example, let’s just compare this to a reading assignment I had this morning. 5 paragraphs of instructions on preparing a microscope slide that was over-saturated with sophisticated words no one uses. *Brief pause to consider that neuron-harming experience*

Anyways. 🙂

I love your moon-man and sun-boy idea! Personally, I love making things that “aren’t” things that “are”, like making Life a person. They’re such fun concepts. 😀

I only noticed one typo;

“She was no brave person; not like Sam, who had insisted in sleeping downstairs on the couch.”

I think what you’re looking for here is “insisted on.” 🙂

I can’t say anything about commas, I’m terrible at them. Though, if you and Thwapling are comma happy, am I comma depressed? My poor commas…I will have to get them some therapy or something.

The only other comment I have is that maybe at the beginning, mention how she switches from trying to wake her sister up from trying to stay awake before she’s outside? Like she’s’ hit with an idea or something? It just seems a little zig-zaggy to me since Holly goes straight from intentionally trying to wake her sister, to intentionally trying to keep her asleep, in two sentences, and with no bridge.

That’s all. I really liked it!

Oh actually no, one more thing. If you want to go into Greek, Thwapling and Wingiby-Iggiby, you could have 3 words for love. 🙂