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Mischievous Thwapling replied to the topic Feedback? in the forum Fantasy Writers 6 years, 2 months ago
That was awesome!! And don’t worry; to me, it wasn’t too long. Once I posted something about maybe twice as long as your entire post on another website that shut down.. *glances apologetically at Wingiby Iggiby and Joelle Stone*
But anyway, yeah, I thought it was really good. One thing I did notice was this:
.“Oh, good morning, Hayen.” She said, looking towards the door.I’m pretty sure that the punctuation would be:
” ‘Oh, good morning, Hayen,” she said, looking towards the door.’ ”
So just a comma instead of a period, then the S in she lowercase. 🙂 At least, I’m pretty sure that’s the rule… It’s what it says in my grammar book in school, and on the internet, so I think it should be right. 😀
But that was a delight to read, and I would like to see more! Fantastic job!












