Activity

@beth20

Wow Beth, really good! You built suspense in so many different places, and now I have to keep reading to find out, well done. (: I really, really liked it…And I have no real critiques.

 

Jered laughed “I’ve only been here a minute and it’s obvious to me,” he said.

Did you forget a *** here? If not, it might make it easier to read if you did.

“What!?” his cousin was astonished. “You expect me to believe you?” he laughed. “I mean what the heck man, another world?”

Really awesome job! (Thanks for sending this out so soon after the last one.) No rush on Chapter 5, but I’m excited to know what happens next!