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@beth20

It’s excellent! Great job. The only problems that were left to fix:

1) If you want to include Jered’s dream, he should remember it. Don’t include details the POV doesn’t know.

2) The last line should end with a dot, I think. The exclamation mark looks… strange.

3) There were some problems with punctuating, I recommend you to go over the text, perhaps using the Mr. Jenkin’s guide I sent here.

4) Between ”sections” of the chapter, you should put a double spacing or something.

That’s everything I had to say. Go over it and see what you have to fix. In conclusion, great job! It’s a huge improvement from the first draft.