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I have a fantasy one shot and was wondering if you guys would *gulps* like to beat it up.

Naw I’m kidding, but I am interested in what people think about it. Do slip on your grammar gloves and throw a few punches because I get so focused writing I forget about the rules *tries whistles innocently*.

Anyways, a few things I want to know:

1. Did I portray the feelings (show not tell/tell not show) and express the rawness of the emotions in the scene?

2. Any suggestions on how to improve the emotions?

3. Was it a good read or like…meh?

4. Did you understand some of the background even though I didn’t go into detail? (was this a true oneshot where you understood without reading a novel’s worth)

5. Characters…did you like them?

Also if there’s something I missed feel free to point out. Going to tag some fantasy writers because I think this was fantasy? Anyways…peeps I know…*goes blank*

Oh well some writing buds: @kari-karast @i-david @fledgling-artist @e_elaine_soup5

Edit: Totally forgets to put a link in *facepalm* Here!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j6VDBtZta-YV5uiUyve-BecEXOgCFVnkJ3-J0KBfFSI/edit?usp=sharing