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*slow grin* I. Likey.

Okay. *cracks knuckles* The big thing that’s standing out to me that we probably need to work on is Anthony. Not Anthony as a person, but Anthony as a story-thread. Most especially, I think we probably need to set him up as suicidal. Introduce that element as early as possible, to give the end maximum impact and also to foreshadow.

One way to do this and make it a very central presence in the story is to actually set the scene on the bridge. I love the alleyway with the idolatrous washing machine, but the bridge might be a better choice of setting symbolically. It would also help the characters’ minds flow more naturally into the metaphor of faith and jumping off into the unknown.

The story as it stands is more about the pastor’s transformation than it is about Anthony’s conversion. Focusing more on the question of what Anthony will do with his life and less on the pastor’s depression might be a good idea.

I love the characterization and setting descriptions. I will remember that washing machine until the day I die. 😛

@daeus-lamb