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@e-jo3 Sorry, I just read this.

This is cool! I love the twist at the end! The narrator’s voice is highly amusing and the characters have a ton of potential. As far as grammar and spelling go, I can’t help you much XD  but the story line is fascinating.

My only thought: I think you need to flush out the actual goal of the whole process more clearly. Other than that?  It’s not half bad. Points for bravely showing us this!