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Sarah vdH replied to the topic My first story in the forum Critiques 7 years, 6 months ago
@e-jo3 Sorry, I just read this.
This is cool! I love the twist at the end! The narrator’s voice is highly amusing and the characters have a ton of potential. As far as grammar and spelling go, I can’t help you much XD but the story line is fascinating.
My only thought: I think you need to flush out the actual goal of the whole process more clearly. Other than that? It’s not half bad. Points for bravely showing us this!












