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@germaine-han Yes, so in the first version I started off with a philosophical statement. There’s nothing wrong with that, but this particular philosophical statement had nothing to do with how Mortristan viewed his situation. It showed he was asking questions, but what questions? That’s what really matters. That’s the type of place his disposition will spill out.

In the second version, I show what question he’s asking. “What had he to look forward to?” This is a subtle reveal of his disposition.

In the first version, it wasn’t clear how he was reacting to what had happened in the past scene. In the second version, it became clear that he unsettled by what he had just gone through.

Altogether, we get that Mortristan is overwhelmed with life and looking for an escape.