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@evelyn Whoops, I guess the link got lost way back there xD Here it is.

I agree that Shakespearean doesn’t really fit the story. By meter do you mean the amount of syllables in each sentence? *knows nothing about poetry* I doubt we could make it work here, but it sounds really cool!

For now we’ll just try to eliminate telling and then see what we can do. In the meantime we can all be thinking about it. We should take advantage of the fact that she’s hopeless. She could reveal backstory through negative pessimistic thoughts like, “Why did I even bother escape? I’m going to die anyway on any other planet, just like my family did…” That way we can avoid backstory info dumps and reveal it bit by bit through her personality in the prose. Let the reader piece together little shreds of backstory like that and then have her tell Dael the last bit of most crucial information at the end. Then the reader will finally understand exactly what happened, just before the planet rises.

Thoughts?

@cassie-hartfinh @emily-d @writercatherine @j-a-penrose