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Steward of the Pen started the topic Prologue: The Ember Dies in the forum Critiques 7 years, 10 months ago
Ya’ll knew it was coming. ;P
Some of you might remember the first part of it from when I posted it on the general forum. This is the complete one with some updates. If you have any questions about how it relates to the rest of the story, please ask. I don’t want to dump it here, just because…well, the post is long enough as it is.
Tagging @j-a-penrose because you’re my awesome guildmaster, @evelyn because you always have something for me, and @ariella-newheart because your feedback is always so helpful. 🙂
Here goes:
In the heart of everything good there is a fire. Sometimes that fire is roaring, drowning out every dark doubt with a passionate blaze. Other times that fire is dying—a single ember clinging to life as darkness sinks down upon it.
Darkness sank heavily on Ekwiel that night.
Threatening black clouds masked the last glow of sunlight. The stars trembled out of sight behind them, as if they dreaded to watch the terrors that would unfold. In a gaping hole between the clouds, an angry red moon scowled at the land. Its ghastly light shone like blood on the trampled snow.
A stealthy four-legged creature dove into a tunnel, slinking along so low that his tongue almost licked the dust. Something like a chuckle slipped out of his snarling lips.
Voices echoed through the connecting chambers, but the tunnel was dark and empty. The wolf swaggered along it for nearly half a mile before it ended in a large well-lit chamber. The Alpha of Loklab was waiting for him there.
Flickering rapidly, the flame in the center of the room flung distorted shadows of the Alpha on the walls, reflecting his twisted personality. His low, malicious laugh vibrated in the air as he watched Mokom, his young Beta warrior, enter the room.
Mokom joined him in his glee, their excitement of that long anticipated night exploding from their lungs and bouncing off the walls. The fire shrunk away.
“Alpha Yeath,” Mokom asked between snickers, “Our warriors are ready. What are my orders? Shall anyone in the family be spared?”
Yeath stopped laughing. His chest swelled and he arched his neck. “No.” A horrid gleam sprang into his eyes. “Kill them all.”
Grunting with pleasure, Mokom tried to bow but burst out laughing and tumbled to the floor.
“On your feet!” Yeath growled. “This is no laughing matter! Stop this puppyish nonsense at once, or I shall fill your chamber with dragon wings. Then you’ll not be laughing.” Then he snorted and laughed along with him.
Mokom stood up, giggling. “Forgive me, Alpha. I can’t help but laugh when I imagine the terror on the faces of those petty Dahop wolves!”
“Neither can I. Now go! May every will that stands against be broke.”
Mokom dipped his head. “May darkness ever be your cloak.”
Yeath watched Mokom fade into the distant blackness of the tunnel, his narrow eyes glinting with satisfaction. Crossing the room, he studied the drawing on the wall—a ring of gleaming black snakes with a deathly reddish-brown “D” scrawled in the middle. He paced and stared at it for hours until the fire had burned so low that he could not see it any more. As he shoved more sticks onto the fading coals, a howl echoed faintly through the tunnel.
Yeath spat the bark out of his mouth and dashed to the doorway, listening for the sound of footsteps. Someone was coming, slowly, and the gait was abnormal. After a few minutes Mokom appeared with blood stains around his mouth and a gash in his left shoulder. Wincing, the Beta limped in front of his Alpha and slumped to the dirt.
“So?” asked Yeath, frowning at Mokom’s wounds. “How did it go?”
“Not…not so well,” Mokom stammered. “The Dahop Warriors came quicker than…than we expected. Their Alpha was strong. It took three of us at once to kill him. Elgan is dead from wounds, and the rest of us are all torn up.”
Yeath’s right eye twitched. “And what of the pups?”
“There…there were…” Mokom trailed off, gasping for breath.
“There where WHAT?”
“There weren’t any, Alpha. I’m sorry, I don’t understand—” he broke off into a coughing fit, his sides heaving. The ribs that stuck out underneath his matted fur were more prominent than usual.
Yeath’s face was expressionless. “No pups.” He sat down with a jolt, staring at nothing. The room was silent except for an occasional whimper from Mokom. For a moment the embers glowed brighter, shining on Yeath’s nose.
“All my hard work,” he muttered, his jaw barely moving. “My dreams. Gone. Gone in a single failed attack.”
Mokom coughed again. “Maybe they smelled us coming and hid the pups. We captured the Alpha’s mate. She is in the prison chambers now. If you can get her to tell you where they are, there’s a chance we can make another attempt.”
The Alpha of Loklab blinked. His brow wrinkled, and his ears flicked forward. “The Alpha’s mate, you say?”
A grin twisted across Yeath’s face.
“Never mind the pups.” His eyes glinted as he spoke. “I have another plan.”
The last ember died.












