Activity

1) This was a great way of introducing different creatures in your world –very engaging.

2) I did find myself skimming the description of the Tannink’esh from “A long reptilian body filled the clearing…connecting seamlessly to the nape of the creatures neck.” So those paragraphs could probably be condensed. I think I got a fairly good idea of the creature from the rest of the dialogue. However, I will say that by the time I got to those paragraphs, I was curious about the creature –so you’d definitely earned some exposition.

3) This section was confusing:

The look of hurt disappeared quickly. “I take it you’ve never met many scyphozomes.”

I shook my head. “They’re my first.”

Why did she have a hurt look? It was also confusing since it took me a minute to realize she was still talking about Nicte –but if I was more aware of the context, that he was one of the twins and he was a scyphozomes–it probably wouldn’t have been a problem.

4) The scene switches from calling the transforming guy from Hanniumm to the general –which is confusing.