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@pookiemonster

Hey there! Thank you… I’ll continue sweeping over it, and seeing if I can clarify some things about what you mentioned. In the meantime, feel free to sweep behind and in front of me strengthening things making suggestions, and really kneading it into what we want. That’s what we’re looking for.

Things that I’m looking for: I want it all to feel real.. and very important… but the dreaminess needs to be clear. We want to build it up as something he’s doing that’s really important… and as we go let on little by little. It’s a story about someone’s suffering… and we almost want the reader to feel that suffering. We want them to lose a little hope over it. Seriously.

Now I don’t know exactly how to tie it up… so any way you want to tenderize it all prepping the story. Remember that this is a prose war… we’re looking at the weaving of the words, the way it flows… it’s a dream.

Does that help?

Also! @brandon-miller I really want to hear your thoughts on this one.