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@ericawordsmith

I have insight to add about crying. About ten minutes ago I cut myself on a  can. It was a small cut, and I was able to handle it well. In fact I always tend to handle cuts well. That being said, it still had my adrenaline going and I can remember what it felt like to have the metal slide through my skin, and no matter how calmly I take care of everything, my system is responding to trauma… even though small.

So after we’d gotten it bandaided up I went to finish taking care of the can… I got it open, but then spilled chicken juice on mom’s note book. I said what’d happen, and mom called out for someone to get me something to clean it up with because my hands were full and there wasn’t enough of me to get the towel. The loud call of mother was began a series of things that were chaotic. Not that anyone did anything bad, but that there were too many cooks in the kitchen.

In all of that, part of me really wanted to yell for silence and probably cry. My body was still dealing with the cut… and with everything piled on top, it was too much. In that case I might cry, because of the sensory overload. Not because something highly emotional happened, but because it was too much for me to deal with.

I didn’t cry, because I knew what was going on and my mind was able to compensate, but the panic part of my was still there.