Activity

@anne-of-lothlorien

Thank you… God’s grace is amazing.

@ericawordsmith, one thing I wanted to reply to, that you said, is the handshake part. Yes a weak hand shake drives me crazy as well… But when a man shakes a woman’s hand there are a few things he should not do, and in certain cases should do.

For one, I would shake a woman’s hand for a different reason than a man’s hand. For men shaking the hand is a sign of mutual comradeship. It is saying you can rely on me, I can rely on you.

When I am shaking a woman’s hand for one, it’s not proper for me to initiate the handshake(as far as etiquette goes. In some ways I think this is different in certain cases, but mostly stands true). I am to wait as see if she offers.

Now in the case that she does offer, I will not shake her hand as I would another man. Think about when a lady used to offer her hand to a man. It was not so he could shake it, but so he could kiss it. Now in our culture that is different, but the principle of gentleness still applies. Unlike in the shake of two men, I am not making a statement of my physical ability or willingness to stand up as a comrade. But instead I am showing the gentle way I treat a woman. This may mean that I don’t give a strong hand shake. It won’t be limp, and it will be firm (in the sense of structural integrity), but not squeezing.

Now, here are some exceptions in my life. The first one is my karate instructor. A woman. Due to the nature of our relationship, it is sometimes fully proper to offer my hand to shake. But that is only because of her. She is comfortable with that kind of thing, so I do it. And to add on, she would rather a somewhat hard handshake, than a gentle handshake. I’m not trying to break her hand, but at the same time there is a certain comradeship I am implying with my shake. As before though, I decide this by her hand shake, and the fact that she taught me how to withstand the handshake of someone lager and stronger then me (that was several year ago). So I know that she appreciates that kind of thing.

And as with any woman, if I am shaking her hand I will show firmness varying on her firmness and action.

That being said, I know for a fact that you are right about guys who just do a weak handshake, and nothing else, which is annoying.