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@daeus-lamb -starting from the top-

Why, thanks! One of my specialties. Confusive writing. I also have this thing with coming up with words that aren’t in the dictionary, but still mean something. Weird, I know.

Yes, it may seem that way, but I put that there because I was meaning to mention – I do this a lot, to(o?) – the folding sheets of the ocean waves. Like this, “The folding sheets over there.” So, to fit the form and meter, I switched it up.

Is my confusive writing annoying or intriguing?

How so?

Ah yes; the thinning of sleet. Basically when people walk on sleet or snow it melts down if only gradually and so it thins. Savvy?

Yes! One of my favourites.

The semicolon. Maybe out of old habit, but also I was shortly bringing together that individual line. It becomes tense and like ice. So I put that there for both a pause and the reflection of the line with the summarization of, “Oh, now it becomes this way.”

Uh, yeah. Here would probably be out of old habit also but maybe the addition of a pause. That’s probably going to change. Thanks!

Here, I personified, through a process, the ocean and what happens to the wave. When it’s cresting – I wanted the situation to pause and the reader to imagine this and its beauty. Then it crashes down – “Where piercing is a’thrash and there” The piercing is that of the sun’s light. This all goes into that last comment of your’s. I’ll just define what I mean:

From here:

The waves they crash upon the shores

The glowing; sun from through their backs

Where piercing is a’thrash and there

The moment tense and ice; becomes.

When stepped upon from up above

And split the seems of warmth and light

To darkness take them and with cold

The dungeons of despair, not hope;

They gasp and sink within that grasp

Shaking and fraught with losing hope.

Smooth became and all to drift,

Then up above, they came again.

To here. This is a depiction of the short “life span” of a wave of the sea.

The first four lines of this section shows the wave cresting, the sun’s light showing through its back. Then it begins to crash and that third line I also mention the sun’s light piercing its back. This is where I pause and reflect.

Then the next two lines I personified the sun and had it step upon the wave: “When stepped upon from up above / And split the seems of warmth and light” The ray of the sun like a sharp, white, sword strikes the seems of the water where warmth and light is disbanded by the sword. These waters are pretty clear and warm for this poem is situated upon the western shores of my world. I didn’t say this in here but I may later after the finalizing of the poem and the final editing stages.

But as the water is then personified in lines seven and eight, I show its terror when it begins to plunge into the depths of the sea and all then becomes dark and significantly colder. “To darkness take them and with cold / The dungeons of despair, not hope;”  The next two lines further this idea. Line nine, though, I meant to write this: “They gasp and sink within that grasp” not grasp twice.

The last two lines show how after this terror grips the wave that’s tumbling, it spans out slowly and calmly, then comes up again for another try.

Is this too confusing?

You bet I do. If you want to see what some of my languages look like you can go to Introduce Yourself – Hello *shy wave* and those will show up in picture type. My most constructed one right now is Teltharic, a recently restored language now used by the gnomes (as they are for-now called).

I’ve looked at your website and listened to your videos and they’re pretty great! I haven’t read any of your stories yet, though. You write a lot of poetry?

Yeah, I like art and photography though I haven’t REALLy got into either of them. I draw. Not paint. Let’s just say that I’m not that great when it comes to goops and brushes, especially watercolor painting. If I ever did get into painting it would probably be oil painting because I think that would be a little more manageable.