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@jennythefaun The predictable part of the story was that the hero didn’t stay dead, which you can’t really change without making this into an entirely different story. But you have a lot more flexibility with the traveler’s character. Focusing on her reactions could make the ending of the story a bit more impactful.

Bread for the Hunger and Candle (the only other of your stories that I’ve read) were both fairly innovative. I wouldn’t call predictability a problem in those stories.