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@jennythefaun

Answers to your questions:

1. No. Not in a bad way, at least. I always felt like the things that weren’t immediately clear (like why the stairs are stained with blood) were things you, as an author, had a firm grip on, and I kept reading to see how they would play out.

2. “Her body heaved with lung-scouring breaths” could be cut, since this says basically the same thing as when she sucks in a chest-full of oxygen-deprived air two paragraphs earlier. Other than that, your sentences are clear and engaging.

3. You did a very good job of gradually unspooling the backstory. I would recommend, however, adding one or two details hinting at the traveler’s relationship with the hero. Giving her a personal reason to climb those 999 steps would make her a lot more relatable.

4. Those terms gave the world with a lot more depth and complexity than it otherwise would have. Using too many fantasy names can be overwhelming, but there were only a couple in this story, and I immediately knew all that I needed to know about what they referred to.

5. Giving the traveler a name would really help her feel more tangible. Referring to her as ‘the traveler’ throughout gave the story an ethereal, detached feel. (Also give her a personal motivation for her quest).

6. I kind of already knew how the story was going to end, so my reaction to the hero was limited to, “Oh, he’s an allegorical Christ-figure. Cool.”

7. Yes yes yes yes yes

8. Maybe, and no