Activity

Lol that is an awful pun and I love it! Yep, my awesomest big brother eva! Aaaand my family be that yeah 😄

Oh no! We’ll miss you! But I totally get too many things to keep up with! *hugs* See ya around tho! <3

11:50 pm
Rosy freezes, without looking at me. But it’s all kinda clicking that was the last memory.
“We met here…” It looks really scary and dizzying no, I don’t remember it looking that way. Was always kinda a safe place. “There was the Cherry Tree here–”
I started to wander onto it and that when Rosy grabbed my hood. That…why is that so comforting? I guess it’s almost tradition now, something she does all the time. She’s…so amazing I don’t deserve to dangle over the same precipice with her! Oh shoot, I’m glad it’s dark if she saw me blushing she’d…probably pummel me?
Then she let go of my hood, looking over the Bridge slowly almost warily. Her hand drops to her side. We probably have to get on it quick, before the whole thing falls behind us. Since her hand’s right beside me I take it, I’d never really thought about holding her hand so much, we’ve been friends since we were kids. But I don’t want to let go, ever.
I never told her how much she scared me that day, at the Bridge. It really scared me that she coulda let go…of herself there. Maybe like my mom…
Her hand is so warm and calloused. She kinda smells like cigarette smoke and sweat, I don’t know why that’s so comforting she’s been trying to quit. Why is her hair so pretty curling over her face? (I wanna touch it)
She squeezes my hand!
She doesn’t even look at me but she squeezed my hand! This place is so dark and cold it’s just crazy. We’ve been friends for forever, she’s been family when I didn’t have one. But I don’t wanna just be friends/I don’t want this to ever end.
“We’re not gonna make it out,” I mumble outloud “are we?”
Rosy doesn’t answer for several seconds so I already know the answer.
“No.” She says in a dead tone.
After a moment I walk onto the Bridge and Rosy doesn’t stop me. So we get out of the noise and the Tower, breathy ice wind stings my eyes. It’s crazy how the rails even look like finger-bones bleached pale with moonlight.
Tick tock, tick tock goes our footsteps.
11:50 pm
“Rosy…” I don’t know why, but I still held her hand and I walked right up to the rails and she kinda looked at me as if she couldn’t quite make me out. “I’m gonna climb up.”
“Ehu–” She grips my hand tight when I hop on the rails and nearly lost my balance but I know she had me. I know she won’t let me fall, I know it. ‘…everybody needs somebody to help if they wanna do more than survive!’ I always thought that was just something simple everybody got…I don’t know anymore.
“Ehud,” Her hand is tighter than she has to grip, and we used to do this all the time… “do you remember when we met?”
I halt, and glance back. My other hand is in my pocket although I should be holding it out for extra balance. Rosy never talks about that day, not even when I blurt something about it. Kinda too close to her past or something…
“Yeah…” I look down at the rails I’m dangling on. And kinda wonder how I managed to actually climb that without any help for approximately five seconds. Mostly how I actually dared to do that…I guess I was more scared about her than the rails.
“It’s really high up…” I wonder what happened to the Cherry Tree. “It almost looks like you can see the whole world up here.”
When I look over Rosy’s shoulder the Tower looks perfectly fine and pretty and even inviting and the Tower we’re headed to looks twisted and broken. Yike, tell me this isn’t another puzzle! Whichever one falls it’ll bring down the Bridge.
“Rosy…” She glances over and sighs. She doesn’t look at me.
11:50 pm
Te amo con todo mi corazon, carino.
When did I get so lost in your heart? When my life has been a wall, a secret and a lie, how do you tear me down without even trying? No puede ser, I can’t be someone you could ever trust…I’m a monster/(I don’t know how to trust anyone)
I know he’s staring at me now, eyes so big they…
11:50 pm
“You know what I was doing here, carino.” It’s a statement not a question. I…hadn’t expected her to bring it up. She looks a little different tonight, she always has a calm assurance in everything she does. Most of her emotions if she shows them it’s very deliberate, a certain level of trust maybe, otherwise I just have to guess.
But tonight I don’t know if she meant to or not.
Her past is a wall I’ve never been over and she never broke down. I was so scared that night, I remember that so much. I thought she was gonna do it…
“Yeah.” I mumble, dropping onto my heels on the rails so I can try to see her face. “You never, uh, told me why…”
I’m not sure why I asked, maybe I was that desperate to see her. She never opens up, and it’s gonna keep breaking her like that. (But I don’t want her to run away) Rosy’s eyes slip up to me, they’re so dark I could never find my way out. And…for a second I don’t know if she recognizes me, did I really think I could reach what’s going on inside her? (Sometimes, she scares me…)
“No,” she says “I didn’t.” And then she pulls me off the rails so she can let go of my hand. I don’t know what I’m thinking, I shouldn’t have felt punched with that. Rosy always wins any emotional hide-and-seek like it’s a game or a cycle we never stop spinning in.
“Why won’t you just talk to me?! Are you afraid I’d leave you?!” I don’t know why I said that but her eyes flash up and I had my answer. And it’s more ‘oh crap’ than ‘bingo’.
“Just drop it, Ehud.” It’s that voice, the low edge that scares badguys. But I’m not ready to drop it.
“Why?! Why do you keep pushing me out, Rosy?!” My eyes sting. I can’t stop myself I don’t even know what I’m saying it doesn’t feel real. But she doesn’t face me I can’t see her eyes. “You think you’re being selfless but you’re just flying scared!”
Rosy freezes.
I didn’t mean to say that, I didn’t mean to. Maybe I’ve wanted to say it for a while I don’t think I should.
11: 50 pm